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One day last year, a citizen on a prairie path in the Chicago suburb of Elmhurst came upon a teen boy chopping wood.
Just some already-fallen branches. Nonetheless, the onlooker called the cops. Officers interrogated the boy, who said he was trying to build a fort for himself and his friends. A local news site reports the police then "took the tools for safekeeping to be returned to the boy's parents. Elsewhere in America, preschoolers at the Learning Collaborative in Charlotte, North Carolina, were thrilled to receive a set of gently used playground equipment.
But the kids soon found out they would not be allowed to use it, because it was resting on grass, not wood chips. Playing on grass is against local regulations. And then there was the query that ran in Parents magazine a few years back: But is it okay to leave her and her playmate home while you dash to the dry cleaner?
The principle here is simple: This generation of kids must be protected like none other. They can't use tools, they can't play on grass, and they certainly can't be expected to work through a spat with a friend. And this, it could be argued, is why we have "safe spaces" on college campuses and millennials missing adult milestones today.
We told a generation of kids that they can never be too safe—and they believed us. We've had the best of intentions, of course. But efforts to protect our children may be backfiring.
When we raise kids unaccustomed to facing anything on their own, including risk, failure, and hurt feelings, our society and even our economy are threatened.
Yet modern child-rearing practices and laws seem all but designed to cultivate this lack of preparedness. There's the fear that everything children see, do, eat, hear, and lick could hurt them. And there's a newer belief that has been spreading through higher education that words and ideas themselves can be traumatizing. Beginning in the s, American childhood changed. For a variety of reasons—including shifts in parenting norms, new academic expectations, increased regulation, technological advances, and especially a heightened fear of abduction missing kids on milk cartons made it feel as if this exceedingly rare crime was rampant —children largely lost the experience of having large swaths of unsupervised time to play, explore, and resolve conflicts on their own.
This has left them more fragile, more easily offended, and more reliant on others. They have been taught to seek authority figures to solve their problems and shield them from discomfort, a condition sociologists call "moral dependency. This poses a threat to the kind of open-mindedness and flexibility young people need to thrive at college and beyond.
If they arrive at school or start careers unaccustomed to frustration and misunderstandings, we can expect them to be hypersensitive.
And if they don't develop the resources to work through obstacles, molehills come to look like mountains. This magnification of danger and hurt is prevalent on campus today. It no longer matters what a person intended to say, or how a reasonable listener would interpret a statement—what matters is whether any individual feels offended by it. If so, the speaker has committed a "microaggression," and the offended party's purely subjective reaction is a sufficient basis for emailing a dean or filing a complaint with the university's "bias response team.
This interferes with the process of free inquiry and open debate—the active ingredients in a college education. And if that's the case already, what of the kids still in grammar school, constantly reminded they might accidentally hurt each other with the wrong words?
When today's 8-year-olds become the year-olds starting college, will they still view free speech as worthy of protecting? As Daniel Shuchman, chairman of the free speech-promoting Foundation for Individual Rights in Education FIRE , puts it, "How likely are they to consider the First Amendment essential if they start learning in fifth grade that you're forbidden to say—or even think—certain things, especially at school?
Parents, teachers, and professors are talking about the growing fragility they see. It's hard to avoid the conclusion that the overprotection of children and the hypersensitivity of college students could be two sides of the same coin. By trying so hard to protect our kids, we're making them too safe to succeed.
If you're over 40, chances are good that you had scads of free time as a child—after school, on weekends, over the summer. And chances are also good that, if you were asked about it now, you'd go on and on about playing in the woods and riding your bike until the streetlights came on. Today many kids are raised like veal. Only 13 percent of them even walk to school. Many who take the bus wait at the stop with parents beside them like bodyguards. For a while, Rhode Island was considering a bill that would prohibit children from getting off the bus in the afternoon if there wasn't an adult waiting to walk them home.
This would have applied until seventh grade. As for summer frolicking, campers don't just have to take a buddy with them wherever they go, including the bathroom. Some are now required to take two—one to stay with whoever gets hurt, the other to run and get a grown-up.
Walking to the john is treated like climbing Mt. After school, kids no longer come home with a latchkey and roam the neighborhood. Instead, they're locked into organized, supervised activities.
Children as young as third grade are joining traveling teams—which means their parents spend a lot of time in the car, too. Or they're at tutoring. Or they're at music lessons. And if all else fails, they are in their rooms, online. Even if parents want to shoo their kids outside—and don't come home till dinner! Often, there are no other children around to play with. Even more dishearteningly, adults who believe it's good for young people to run some errands or play kickball down the street have to think twice about letting them, because busybodies, cops, and social workers are primed to equate "unsupervised" with "neglected and in danger.
You may remember the story of the Meitivs in Maryland, investigated twice for letting their kids, 10 and 6, walk home together from the park. Or the Debra Harrell case in South Carolina, where a mom was thrown in jail for allowing her 9-year-old to play at the sprinkler playground while she worked at McDonald's.
Or the 8-year-old Ohio boy who was supposed to get on the bus to Sunday school, but snuck off to the Family Dollar store instead. His dad was arrested for child endangerment. These examples represent a new outlook: But that outlook is wrong. The crime rate in America is back down to what it was in , which means that most of today's parents grew up playing outside when it was more dangerous than it is today. And it hasn't gotten safer because we're hovering over our kids.
All violent crime is down, including against adults. And yet it doesn't feel safer. A study found "kidnapping" to be the top parental fear, despite the fact that merely being a passenger in a car is far more dangerous.
Nine kids were kidnapped and murdered by strangers in , while 1, died in vehicles that same year. While Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker writes in 's The Better Angels of Our Nature that life in most countries is safer today than at any time in human history, the press keeps pushing paranoia. This makes stepping back feel doubly risky: There's the fear of child kidnappers and the fear of Child Protective Services.
At times, it seems like our culture is conjuring dangers out of thin air, just to have something new to worry about. Thus, the Boulder Public Library in Colorado recently forbade anyone under 12 to enter without an adult, because "children may encounter hazards such as stairs, elevators, doors, furniture, electrical equipment, or other library patrons.
Always a lethal combo. Happily, the library backed off that rule, perhaps thanks to merciless mocking in the media. But saner minds don't always prevail. At Mesa Elementary School, which also happens to be in Boulder, students got a list of the items they could not bring to the science fair. These included "chemicals," "plants in soil," and "organisms living or dead.
But perhaps the single best example of how fantastically fearful we've become occurred when the city of Richland, Washington, got rid of all the swings on its school playgrounds. The love of swinging is probably older than humanity itself, given our arboreal origins. But as a school district spokesman explained, "Swings have been determined to be the most unsafe of all the playground equipment on a playground.
You may think your town has avoided such overkill, but is there a merry-go-round at your local park, or a see-saw? Most likely they, too, have gone the way of lawn darts. The Consumer Product Safety Commission even warns parks of "tripping hazards, like…tree stumps and rocks," a fact unearthed so to speak by Philip Howard, author of 's Life Without Lawyers. The problem is that kids learn by doing. Trip over a tree stump and you learn to look down.
There's an old saying: Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child. We're doing the opposite. Ironically, there are real health dangers in not walking, or biking, or hopping over that stump.
A Johns Hopkins study this summer found that the typical year-old is as sedentary as a year-old. The Army is worried that its recruits don't know how to skip or do somersaults.
But the cost of shielding kids from risks goes well beyond the physical, as a robust body of research has shown. A few years ago, Boston College psychology professor emeritus Peter Gray was invited by the head of counseling services at a major university to a conference on "the decline in resilience among students.
What's more, callers were seeking help coping with everyday problems, such as arguments with a roommate. Two students had dialed in because they'd found a mouse in their apartment. They also called the police, who came and set a mousetrap. And that's not to mention the sensitivity around grades.
We had to walk 25 miles to the mill - uphill each way - and pay the millowner to work there. Hey, my brother and I walked 8 miles to kindergarten, uphill both ways, with railroad crossings, 2 8 lane freeways, 4 24 hour bars, the county jail, Dow Chemical plants, the community home for sex offenders, two small abandoned oil fields and the 6th graders motor bicycle gang's club house.
On the other hand, the election of Trump does highlight that a good number of "conservatives" have bought into the Left's culture of fragility. Any suggestion that a random Trumpweet might not be entirely accurate is instantly met with howls of outrage.
When I was a child, the school bus broke down before reaching my bus stop. The bus was closer to my home than the bus stop, but when I asked to get off the broken down bus, I was denied. So naturally, I pused open the emergency exit and walked home. If I heard a child tell me that he sat quietly on the broken down bus for however long it takes to get it fixed or replaced, I'd ground him until he figured out how to escape from his room.
Up To The Old Shenanigans I salute you, Mr. Stotch, with your threat to ground someone. Trey Parker and Matt Stone salute you too! Jasa SEO Jakarta 4. Trump was elected because baby boomers and millennials want government to take care of them and want conformism rewarded and outsiders punished. Trump is the next phase of the Obama era; sucking the last bit of life out of the bankrupt welfare state.
In fact, baby boomers were the only age group that voted for Trump over Clinton. The main reason being they are too doddering to cast a rational vote. Perhaps the boomers voted for Trump over Clinton because they are tired of supporting the rest of you who are living off the government teat. We've worked for what we own, and think it's "fair" to continue to keep it, grow it and use it to take care of our needs. When we choose to share it, we choose with WHOM we will share as well.
Clinton, like Bernie and Obama, was a strict redistributionist. The only difference is that the bulk of that redistribution was earmarked for her and her cronies and she made no effort to hide that. Where do you get this cow excrement? We don't want government to take care of anyone, just leave us the hell alone.
In case you hadn't noticed, take a look at who the responders to the recent hurricanes actually were. We take care of ourselves. Without a doubt, but who has fostered and expanded government programs and kept poor people on the plantation?
It has greatly expanded under successive generations of democrats as a way to keep getting elected. And the game of Reoublicans being Democrat-lite to get their agenda through has also been employed. Trump's supporters are the same yahoos who operate hundreds of backwater religious schools. Conservative-controlled campuses typically coddle right-wingers-in-training by suppressing science and history to flatter superstition, imposing old-timey speech and conduct codes, conducting strenuous censorship throughout campus, restricting academic freedom and free inquiry among faculty, collecting loyalty oaths, and engaging in viewpoint-based discrimination in everything from admissions to hiring professors to janitors, administrators to basketball coaches.
They also teach nonsense. The predictable, customary result is a third- or fourth-tier if not unranked goober snowflake factory that struggles to maintain accreditation that was never deserved. My dad used to send me for milk and cigars to a corner store 5 miles away. My brother and I mowed lawns and shoveled walks for cash.
The river was a good 5 mile ride away too. I spent a lot of time fishing in a swamp alone. As much as I hate to see any child be stunted in their development, it is at least nice to know that my own children will have a significant leg up on many of their peers. Also, if Haidt is still teaching and you have a chance to take his class you should do it, even if you don't need the credit.
You won't regret it. I am the 0. Why, it seems as if you are saying there is a competitive advantage in the way you raised your children.
That surely can't be legal! Tell them all, my son needs some gentleness. He doesn't need any force," the mother says. Jimmy Kimmel's Halloween prank can scar children. I suspect that the parents who film these videos are the parents who already tease and trick their kids.
My young kids have been coached to recognize sarcasm. I find this to be a skill that is lacking in the general public. In my opinion as a longtime child psychiatrist, the children in the clips — most of whom appear to be between 3 and 7 years old — are reacting not so much to the temporary loss of candy but to a sense of betrayal that will linger long after their parents own up to the joke.
Small kids also have rigid moral codes. People are either good or bad. When they hear that their parents have stolen from them, they may wonder: Does that make my parents bad?
Does it make me bad? Small kids also have rigid moral codes Shit, someone actually said this? Enjoy Every Sandwich I wonder how much of this has to do with the fact that fewer children are growing up with a father in the house. This is purely anecdotal but my experience and that of my friends growing up is that the mothers tended to be more cautious and controlling, while the fathers were more inclined to loosen the reins and let us make mistakes and deal with the consequences.
It ended up with a pretty good balance of safety and freedom. Poorer folks are far more likely to let their kids fend for themselves. They don't earn income or do so frivolously , prioritize the appearance of good parenting above actually raising children, and frequently don't empathize or much associate with children. I certainly grew up around single moms who's husbands subsidized their lifestyle and would fit the category. But there are only so many decisions to be made in the day and working moms and dads, even well-to-do ones, are more willing and ready to foist those decisions and decision-making skills back onto the children.
Of course I SF the link. Here's the link suggesting that it's not as glamorous as it looks. I suspect "Goodwill" must mean "free daycare" in Spanish, because that's how they treat it. When we got our son his dirt bike we were watching him practice his first day. My wife laughed and said "this is why he needs a mom and a dad. A dad to say 'go for it! I never had a dirt-bike, but my parents did encourage various forms of freestyle, bmx, skateboarding, roller-skating, etc Jordan peterson talks about this all the time.
ESP regarding overbearing mothers. Biologically women are more likely to be overprotective because it's necessary when their child is an infant, and it's up to the father to loosen those chains as they grow up. My cousin is in the exact situation. The dad needs to push back on that crap. The Last American Hero One aspect that did not get mentioned is liability. TrickyVic old school Let's close the schools! Since I don't have any children, why should I pay for other people's children's education anyways?
I have long had a theory, that if public schools were closed and parents were required to teach their own children OR schools instituted without ANY governmental edicts requiring professional teaching credentials, and could be staffed by heaven forbid, "Laypersons. Teach kids to read, to write and mathematics, give them critical thinking skills and NO internet until they are 16 and they would outperform public schools.
Remember the generation that got us to the moon had neither the internet, computers generally or social media. Yes, kill public schools. What comes out the other end of that pipeline is inert, sullen, fat, "autistic," "genderqueer" lumps of flesh who form plurals with apostrophes. Public schools are nothing but a boondoggle, a black hole of public money with an ever-decreasing ROI. Their goals aren't to educate children; they're nothing more than the most successful union jobs program ever.
Having children is a choice, either by action or inaction. If you choose to have children, you should raise and educate them yourself. Maybe at age 16 it could be legal to discuss trans-sexual issues with them. There is also incredible new pressures on kids because they can access online porn so easily these days. Reverse-racist porn aims directly at young white girls and makes fun of white boys and men's penis sizes and encourages young white girls to only date blacks or otherwise experience sexual frustration.
This is child abuse and brainwashing no different than used by Stalin. I used to vote democratic but realize now how much I didn't realize was going on. I hope Libertarians can come up with a better Presidential candidate than Gary Johnson next time. Last of the Shitlords I assumed that through his entire upbringing he was only able to lay hands on a single hetero interracial porno and is bitter about it.
I think Stalin's idea of brainwashing - if he even had one - was rather more intense than your example. I suspect the same thing was at work during the 70's and 80's with written porn such as "Penthouse forum" and other such garbage.
The internalization of sexuality is insidious and it does not take much to offset the normal balance with infinite pictures or stories that have been photoshopped endlessly or edited worse than Russian based presidential campaign adverts.
Wait till I get a real one. Pop won't let me have one yet, will ya, Pop? Not till you're 12, son. An entire generation of young people has been brought up to rely on higher authority to care for them and to avoid self-reliance as dangerous.
This is, of course, same generation that supported Bernie Sanders and has a positive view of socialism. Purely a coincidence, I am sure. And I am also sure that those in authority have absolutely no vested interest in encouraging this sort of mentality of dependency. It would be completely paranoid of me to think that, wouldn't it? And the generation behind this was rousted from the classrooms by the teachers to "march the streets in resistance to Trump!
Hey Drumpf's cocksucker, the generation was created by the assholes who borrowed and spent like your mother was being used for relief of various bodily fluids. But feel free to think of Hillary and just imagine 'what might have been'. Kids tend to rebel from parents, so there tends to be only so much time parents have to reverse the brainwashing going on at school.
Kids spend about hours at school about days a year. If schools did well at teaching kids and less brainwashing then parents could add knowledge to those kids rather than spend so much time trying to reverse that lefty nonsense this is school dogma. Trump seems to be an exception to this. Our opinions at home match up with LotS above, yet the boys come home from school loudly declaring the horribleness of all things Trump. At least the teachers are just name calling and not teaching anything substantive.
If my kid came home spouting anything political that he had learned from his teacher, I'd go ballistic. The teacher, the principle, and I would have a little meeting, and the volume of my voice would probably cause car alarms to go off. Kids tend to rebel from parents [ Many kids will rebel for a period typically as teenagers but come 'round as young adults. There's a reason that the single biggest predictor for adult religion and politics is the religion and politics of the parents.
Teachers are self sacrificing heroes who are underpaid, overworked, and even have to pony up for pens, notebooks and study materials for their classrooms. They should be heeded, honored, and never criticized or blamed for anything. Teachers are union-fattened, whiny hogs who wouldn't last two weeks in the private sector, where we have to do things like, y'know, work full-time and earn our own retirement income.
The public school system should be abolished, and public school teacher pensions returned to taxpayers. The assholes who were part of the great borrow and spend generation, and whine about how irresponsible millennials are for not wanting something like that for themselves?
I have to say a few words later today at a memorial service for a boyhood friend and it triggered some memories I can share. At age 13, our parents permitted us to leave our suburban homes and travel to the big city, ride trolleys and subways and etc. Lots of adventures, meeting at least one dude who wanted to take us to his apt. Good times I wouldn't have traded for adult-supervised ball games or scheduled play dates. At 13 I was hanging around a bar, cleaning up or stocking things to earn some extra cash to feed my blossoming video game addiction.
The in-house band would rehearse, and the drummer would breakdown the intricacies of the music in the breaks, giving me a deeper appreciation that is with me to this day. He had a snakeskin snare that was perpetually detuning. Mostly, it was being in the adult world as an observer not as an encumbrance. I suppose no one thought to ask where my parents were as it wasn't an imposition a trick many college students have yet to master.
And numerous other events that would be frowned upon today; how can kids know themselves unless they have a little space? In Puerto Rico one afternoon when I picked up my daughters from school, we got a flat tire outside a little restaurant. Three boys, the oldest maybe 9 or 10, and the other two about 8, came along and offered to change it for a dollar. I told them sure, and the older one proceeded to supervise the other two changing it.
They did a good job and they each got a dollar. That spirit seems to be completely absent from Puerto Rico now, where they wait indolently for someone else to come along and upgrade their power grid and rescue them from their own sloth and corruption. I would be willing to bet some of those bar patrons were watching out for you and would help if something bad happened to you.
Now those men are called suspected pedophiles. To scaredy people, Men cannot be just a helpful person without there being a bad motive. True enough, but that is generally considered being a decent person. Unfortunately being a decent person today is calling the cops at what appears to be a still wet-behind-the-ears youth sweeping the floor at a bar Likewise, my dad mentioned all the boys going to school with their rifles on the first day of hunting season.
The principal would store the arms in his office, and issued them out as classes ended. You can imagine how well that would play today. I had to have the luck of growing up in suburban Cincinnati. I would have loved to have ridden around on trains and subways at At least I got the chance to do that in Japan at That they are pets who can talk, or that they are small people who do not yet know very much.
The wrong one is winning. And I wonder if there's any relation between this and the weird fetish of pet owners referring to their pets as "furbabies" and themselves as "pet parents" or even "pet grandparents". Those people are harmless; they're not the ones ruining society. Raising children in bubblewrap, endowing them with zero coping skills, initiative, independence, and an understanding that not everything is about them actually IS ruining society.
People cooing and slobbering over their pets is not creating a generation of spergtastic welfare parasites who call the police if someone's dressed like a geisha at a Halloween party. Replying to myself to point out a comment in the blog post I linked to above. The meme of "Parent's Disease" deserves to be more widely known. You single handily pointed out major modern problems I see for kids.
Not really being able to be a kid. Adult supervised activities where candy is passed out in controlled environments and not being able to roam neighborhoods and collect candy door-to-door. There also seems to be efforts to ruin the good costumes that scare or shock other people. As you also mentioned, the constant adult supervised after school activities that don't allow kids to work out their own play time and problem solving.
Mixed with an American education system that used college to teach what High School should have, the USA is in deep trouble. Of note, we live in a middle class center american suburb.
This year we had ZERO trick or treaters. Driving around later that evening, I did not even see a single tree treated to the indignities of a good toilet papering. Not exactly a fluff program considering that it came with legislation mandating unwanted food be provided by perpetually underfunded public schools. Paint Thinner, you proceed as if these folks have never been trolled before.
Also, the straw men you apparently use in your little "arguments" are not real. Pretending they are, and are posting here, is sure to throw off your aim. The idea that the next generation of kids is going to be absolutely terrible is nothing new, but maybe it will be good for everyone to finally get off of Millennial's backs and have them beat up an entirely new generation for basically the same shit.
I imagine the Millennial's will do the same thing that was done to them, as there are few things more satisfying than blind revenge.
By all means, clutch your pearls and tell me more about how 'the young' are going to ruin everything when objectively that already happened almost a century ago. I'm sure this generation will be way worse than the one's that gave us the Fed, social security, and income taxes among many other 'crazy' ideas. I just find it amusing to watch each generation bad mouth the one that comes after them, as if that generation is an organism instead of a group of unaffiliated individuals.
It's a modern version of astrology, if you ask me. Even if one assumes that there are common characteristics, one could make the argument that those common characteristics are the direct result of the behaviors of the generation that raised them.
There are undeniable generational characteristics. Most Americans share many of the same values and characteristics but there are distinct things that Greatest Gen people do that Gen Xers don't. We call it generation characteristics but really its just how the World was when you grew up and how you acted going into adulthood.
My old Greatest gen relatives are in pictures playing with no shoes. Not because they chose to not wear shoes but because they only had one pair of shoes for church and school not an extra pair to play in.
Gen Zers and Millennials generally have a tough time counting cash if the register does not tell them exactly what to do. Watching them figure tips on their phones is hilarious. Main point is that they use machines more than their brain. Gen Xer and Boomer parents have huge populations of helicopter parents and have raised sissies and kids dumber than they are. It's like saying 'kids these days don't know how to use a slide rule!
Or saying 'kids these days don't know how to cook a shoe like my grandparents did' and that's a bad thing. Why are guilt by association and collective thinking more ok in this arena than others, one might ask? It's a feature of humanity that we always think this next generation is going to be our doom. You can see this in writing going back hundreds of years.
People just don't like things that are different. I am assured by celebrity chefs everywhere that this is absolutely a bad thing. How dare you only want the prime cuts of meat, offal is where the true flavor of the animal lies. Uhhh, but sometimes civilizations DO go down hill. I would argue American political positions have done nothing but get worse every generation since maybe We've got better on maybe a handful of issues racist laws etc and gotten worse on everything else. Group dynamics exist, anyone who doesn't accept this is a fool.
Statistical fact are real and confer valuable data. Individuals need to be treated as individuals, but you also can't ignore how groups TEND to be on average when discussing society wide issues.
I'm an older millennial, and it's obvious that kids a couple years younger than me are fragile as fuck. I was literally one of the last kids in this country that got to ride my bike everywhere and didn't get trophies for losing And I can tell that that made a difference at a statistical level, which of course many studies verify. Needless to say, with declining population numbers, that is almost a death knell for our system of values.
I think the concern is not with the generation itself, but rather with their elders who won't push back on the very natural tendency that every human has to want everything his own way. It's particularly disturbing to see this codified to the point that dissenters get genuine punishments, like being busted and having your children forcibly taken from you because you let them go to the store to buy a candy bar.
I think the concern is not with the generation itself [ When I was a boy I was what today would be called a "free range child".
We lived in a hilly area of Los Angeles and, once homework was done, our parents at work, I'd run with my friends over hill and dale. The only real rule was to be back home by 5 when the parents got home.
Years later my wife and I lived with our adopted son in the hills north of Los Angeles. For his 12th birthday we got him a dirt bike. He could -- and did -- ride over 10 miles of back country, sometimes alone and sometimes with a friend or two. Be home before the sun went down. He could have gotten hurt, but never did. He could have gotten lost, but never did. What he did get was independent and self-confident. So much so that when a schoolmate made a racist joke directed at him he told me about it but insisted I not go to the principal; he would take care of it himself.
The other kid was goalie on the soccer team he was playing that weekend and he scored three goals on him, each more embarrassing to the goalie than the one before. After the third he came to the bench and said "I told you I'd take care of it". Well, I guess that applies to you as well.
So you make work for each other this way. It reminds me of a 'Poon phony cover long ago: The New York Review of Us. It included an article, approximately, "Chomsky on Mailer on [another names] on Chomsky". Things we played with when I was a kid "back in my day Places we played unsupervised: Tools we used unsupervised: Back in my dad's day the s you used to be able to go to the hardware store and buy dynamite.
Who had the lead-melting kit as a child? I still have a couple of the lead cowboys, probably painted with lead paint, too. What could be more fun for a seven-year-old than molten lead?
THIS is why I see so many damn kids on my subway commute, at rush hour, when the cars are packed like sardines. Nothing more pleasant than that experience heightened with the presense of multiple howling infants and kicking toddlers. Geez, most of the kids these days are not even bothering with getting drivers licenses or cars. That one still amazes me. I had a stepson that joined the Marine corp at age 18 without having acquired a driver's license or having any desire too.
Don't you know that encouraging self sufficiency is one of their subtle tools to make us less dependent upon enlightened civil servants, and so will result in greater wealth, racial, and gender inequality? BTW-while I have no problem with kids bobbing for apples, its a great way for them to spread germs to each other, much like sharing toothbrushes or drinking glasses, and lots of kids are sick this time of year.
First, acting like a helicopter parent is not to indulge the child but the parent. Whether parental fears are rational or not, enduring the anxiety of letting kids go off by themselves is way harder than organizing play dates and acting as chauffeur. Add in a bit of ego projection, and selfish parents will never let their offspring fend for themselves. Second, as pointed out above, life is SOOO much safer and easier now. But we evolved with more real danger and still carry the biological baggage that wants to be used.
That inspires us to invent and inflate risk, so we can feed the anxiety monkey. Of course, we end up looking like pussies. This will only produce young adults who are too afraid to leave mommy and daddy's basement when they get older. Then these overly protected kids won't know how to handle themselves when they are older as to how to get a job, how to relate to adults, how to survive in the real world. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I read this article with mixed feelings after recently finishing the raising of my two boys.
It is astounding to me how the non-statistical thinkers got so much control of what kids were allowed to do and I support Lenore in her effort to allow freedom of action for youth. On the skills side I think I did all right, made sure my boys knew how to use power tools, knew their way around a car, made sure they had a basic sense of direction.
I used to hobo trains as kind of a beatnik striving when I was in college and I strain to think about how many millennials nowadays would try something like that.
It's the sports side where I ask if I went soft. I coached a lot of different sports. There were kids at lots of different levels. You knew as a coach and a parent that a sense of accomplishment was important for the personal development of all the kids on the team. And I guess I would admit that sometimes I sacrificed absolute team performance to try to give some kid who maybe wasn't so skilled a chance to feel good about something they did.
So was I that guy giving out trophies just for showing up? Not literally, but I ask myself about it. Not if that second-string kid earned the chance to play. If he put in the effort, and was just not competitive due to genetics, I think you did the right thing. On the other hand, if he just showed up sometimes , and did not really try or care, then you might have been indulging feelings yours and his.
Plus if the other kids LOST because of someone else's ineptness, they are going to give that kid a hard time. Despite participation trophies, kids know who can play and who can't. I think you did the right thing. You helped some children learn they have value as a member of a team beyond physical competence. I'm a boomer but I still feel the pain of being one of only two children not allowed to play during a softball championship game.
We won by over 20 runs. Surely, that coach could have let us in if for only one inning - or a single play for that matter - after having shown up to every practice, played every game, hauled equipment, cheered on teammates, etc.
I had a similar experience with the treatment, but, the coach's son was a pitcher. They did not find out that my twin brother could catch and I had a natural curve, until after a picnic for the team! But, the fact that we could not see, because of uncorrected near sighted-ness, was not very amenable to playing outfield.
It resulted from assumptions made by people who thought they were very observant. We feel so sorry for the kids today. Swimming, boating,hunting,camping,we learned things today we have year-old inexperienced drivers.
I started at 9. Worse, the thinking process is bad. I had a professor who survived WW2 as a soldier in the Red army Northern front. Then with his family escaped to the West. Well give it 20 years when unions will resurge and the same ol problem of the 's rear their heads.
What a Catch this will place on parents who helicopter and yet aim to raise the "best" possible children; good parenting requires "bad" parenting. If I ever reproduced heaven forfend I would make a point of encouraging my offspring to fend for themselves a bit I was an econometrics tutor at an Australian university in the s - even back then the lack of 'character' in kids was becoming apparent. Benign neglect in the fuller context of hard-working, loving parents worked for me and my siblings.
We lived in the middle of the Northern Territory Australia in the earlys and my kid brother and I did all sorts of stupid shit going swimming in tailings dams; riding our dragsters 7 miles to the actual creek for which the town is named; trying to catch lizards; trying to ride our dragsters the 65km to where Dad worked [adults intervened and brought us home].
I would've been 7 or 8, Michael would have been 5 or 6. The widespread, genuine threat of unpunished physical reprisal kept a bunch of us in check through my 20s: The fragile douches from this generation share a singular trait: My former national champ mountain biking daughter, who powered through her undergrad degree in 3 years while fighting a serious illness, got her doctor of PT, puts in long hours with desperately ailing children, and still likes to shred downhill trails, might just embarass your hormones.
Sorry I triggered you, fragile one. But it sounds like your daughter has a good balance of masculinity. Not that she's butch, but she might have those masculine chemicals that provide one with reason and sense and perseverance.
I've never met a "masculine" leftist in my life. Even the fem-nazi dykes wilt like wax under a flame when confronted with conflict. It's called being an exception to the rule. One major flaw in modern progressive libertarians is that they try to ignore that real differences DO exist between different groups.
Individuals need to be treated as such, but women are not the same as men on average. That's why men stomp women into the ground at many tasks, and women do the same to men on others. Men have very much been demasculanized, which is because of us allowing too much female mindset to take over society.
Welfare, trophies for losers, no danger allowed ever etc are all female lines of thought. They've created systems that stifle men because we let them get away with it.
It's not healthy for society and we need to put an end to it. Friend of mine grew up in Gretna Lousiana in the 50's and 60's. When he was 12, he and a pal packed up their old pirogue literally Today, two 12 year old kids with that rifle would have it confiscated and their Dads would be in jail for "reckless endangerment" of their boys and the whole parish.
Just one instance of the freedom he had when growing up. My Dad b grew up in New Zealand at about the same time. He would routinely go deer- and pig- hunting by himself or with his younger brother , camping overnight for several days on end, from the age of 13 onwards.
He first drove a logging truck at the age of 15 his Dad was a forestry 'overseer' for a felling team of 20 ; became a cop at the age of 20, and married my Mum at If you notice my 'benign neglect' comment above, you will see that they 'free ranged' their kids, and no harm came of it except that we would all currently be diagnosed with 'oppositional defiant disorder' or some other such made-up schlock.
I grew up in Orange COunty Calif in the 50's and 60's. Paper route at 11, won a competition for new subscription starts, prize was a day trip on the ferry across to Catalina Island.
Dad dropped me off in San Pedro on his way to work, I spent the entire day on the boat, roaming about the island, the trip back Dad met me at day's end after I'd taken a bus to near home, on my own. I was not yet When I was 15, I had the freedom to ride my bike anywhere I pleased, just be back home in time for supper never had a watch, never was late.
Once in a while Mom would ask me where I had been at some time period a few days earlier, and I'd think She'd then tell me that Mrs So and So thought she had seen me at about that time and place, but must have been mistaken because that was too far from home. Yup, it WAS me With such verification of my stories, she learned to trust me completely. I only called for a ride home one time.. SO what did I do? I learned to be able to deal with anything that came up, and still get home in time for supper.
Fifty years later I still take off on the bike and do hundred mile days. And I still wear the same size clothes I did in high school, too, and weigh whithin ten pounds what I did then. I wouldn't even have figured how to safely ride my bike from Murrieta to Lake Elsinore: Nor even from San Marcos to Camp Pendleton.
If California ever goes libertarian at some point and the cost of living decreases somewhat, I will move back. When I think of myself at 14, in , working a service station, pumping gas, washing windshields, checking oil and fixing flats, and carrying a huge wad of cash, no cash register , I simply can't see fourteen-year-olds doing that now. Who would even allow it? Like you, I rode my bike all over, beginning in first grade when I got a Schwinn Stingray. This was in the city, though, south side of Chicago, but I visited all the neighboring suburbs.
When I was about ten, I was going from bar to bar, shining shoes. Biker bars, hillbilly bars, gay bars, dive bars, and every other type of clientele the city offers. If a ten-year-old were caught doing that today, it'd be a national news item. I was able to turn that into a bar-cleaning gig, and I knew how to set up a bar and stock coolers by age eleven or twelve. By age fifteen, I was well-known enough to get served in many, knew how to act, and how to tip properly.
Had my own apartment two months after my eighteenth birthday. By age 28, after having worked as a DJ, bartender, manager and door guy, I owned a bar. I had a million adventures as a child, out in the World, doing whatever. Adults, especially men, hit on me, and I don't need an apology, decades later.
I just handled it - brushed them off, and kept going. Occasionally, bad things happened to me, but I wouldn't trade the freedom I had for any amount of "safety", that's for sure. I'm so grateful I grew up when I did. It's an overly litigious society that creates an overprotective environment. Also, trophy or not, that kid knows he came in 8th. The trophy just reminds him now. A police chief in New Albany, Ohio, went on record saying kids shouldn't be outside on their own till age He took a quiet, quaint, midly prosperous small town outside Columbus and turned it into a soulless, over-planned, over-regulated wasteland of eerily identical shopping centers and high-end McMansions for upwardly-mobile Columbusites.
I despise the place. It began in the 's with government subsidized single mother homes, the first government regulated parents. This led to the systemic disenfranchisement of fathers from children. Occurring at the same time was the villainization of men at the hands of feminism and a government which used the PC policies to further regulate parents.
Schools were feminized and liberalized see any male teachers lately? Intact parent households see the government regulation and react to prevent it form happening to them. We now have a government where Feds subsidize single parent homes mostly single mother through Title IVd of the Social Security Act and then steps in to "help" by regulating activities of children in school, public police actions , Social "service" agencies, and anti family courts.
It iwll continue until government is reduced. I was a kid in the s. We always played outside. My parents never knew where I was, except when I came home with a case of Poison Ivy. Then they knew I'd been playing at the creek. I think all this helicopter parenting really got started with the publicity around the kidnapping and murder of Adam Walsh.
As usual, the press blew it out of proportion. It was truly a tragedy but the chance of the same thing happening to your child was minuscule. The part that begins with https: I call it "The Catastrophization of American Society. I think it's some kind of psychological problem that's not addressed enough publicly, if recognized at all by the Psychological Industry. Remember "The West Wing"? Even back then, The Prez rarely was called into his "Situation Room" and he made for a better role model than we actually got with any President since then.
No one in the education establishment has any common sense any more. The comment about "not playing on grass" tells you everything you need to know about today's educators. Some administrators have cancelled recess in elementary schools so kids won't get hurt playing games with each other. In , when I was 10 years old, I took my bicycle and rode a mile to the grocery store and got some groceries for my mom and siblings and brought them home safely. When I was 12 I got a daily paper route with customers.
I kept that job for 5 years. At age 13 we would ride our bikes 5 miles across town to play baseball in the city park with the other kids who lived on that side of town. I babysat my 4 younger siblings when I was 12 years old so my mom and dad could run errands and attend meetings after school and work. When I was older and had kids of my own, we happily used the year-old daughter of a church friend to babysit our two boys who were 5 and 2 at the time.
That was in And on and on I could go. Yes, there is a problem today, and it comes directly from the educational system, which has been controlled by the Democrat Party for years, and the nonsensical multiculturalism and identity politics being taught to successive generations of American students. We're now into our 3rd generation, at least, of this foolishness, and the results are very easy to see for anyone who cares to look.
Even if you leave your child to do things on their own, the smartphone safety net is with them. When we were on our own, the nearest payphone might have been several blocks away. So you needed to think for yourself, you could not check on Facebook for the latest blither from someone else. Our children do not have much exposure to "unspecified risk"; not danger, but the risk of making a poor choice.
Like bringing home the wrong dish soap, or laundry detergent because you forgot to write it down and had to make a choice or come home without it. Then as a reminder, you had to walk back and get the right one. After a couple of times, you learned to be certain what you were shopping for. It is this lack of "unspecified risk" that prevents our kids from learning how to think on their feet and make "good choices" on their own!
By trial and error. We survived, why won't they. But try to take their technology away, and you would think they were losing an eye! When a butterfly is about to emerge from its cocoon, it undergoes a fight for life with the cocoon that protected them while developing. The fight strengthens their wings.
If one were to cut open the cocoon to "help" the butterfly it will emerge but not be able to fly. The authors are conflating different contemporary social phenomena in a way that weakens their argument. People of color talking about the microacressions they experience in our society has nothing to do with resilience or being left to handle enough conflict as children. Allowing children freedom has nothing to do with college students being permitted to wear offensive costumes, as Erika Christakis misleadingly frames it.
The cause of giving children more autonomy does not need to get conflated with racism and white fragility. Could not connect to remo You could not be more wrong. Do you think that Black kids who join gangs at a higher rate than their white counterparts are better able to cope on their own than white kids? But I'll just whrug my shoulders and shake my head at what a silly jerk that guy is for wearing such a ridiculous and demeaning costume.
Nor will I expect to be provided "counselling" the ONLY appropriate counselling for anyone offended by a hallweeen costume would go something like this: That person most likely finds your hysteria and "offendedness" offensive. The same old longing for some nonexistent "good old days", complete with handwringing about how soft and veal-like today'kids are. It's garbage, the same tired complaints voiced by allegedly cogent observers since Suetonius and Livy.
The anecdotes told here are undoubtedly incomplete and in any case are just that, anecdotes. The leading cause of death among children aged 1 to 14 in the US is "preventable accidents" according to CDC, and that death rate was cut in half between and As adults, we tend to glamorize the stupid risks we took as children when unsupervised.
Except that today, everything a child does unsupervised is labeled as a "stupid risk. Cause and effect learning is a primary and necessary foundation for intellectual competence and social competence and children are being denied those experiences. I play Grand Theft Auto a lot. It's supposed to be an adult game, but of course kids play it. In the game, you're supposed to be a criminal, building a criminal enterprise. You can buy all kinds of weapons, and military vehicles such as fighter jets and attack choppers, and use them against other players.
And you have to move your "product" around in this dangerous world, to sell it. It's a multiplayer online game, and the idea is, you put together a crew of online friends to help you defend your product against attacks. Instead, what an amazing number of young people do is try to play alone. The game tries to make this difficult. They can't, or won't, make friends, so instead they've taken to glitching empty public lobbies so that there's no one to interfere with them moving their product, no one to attack them.
They make a million dollars, of in-game money , simply for driving from one end of the map to another. Not only aren't they embarrassed about cheating the game this way, they shamelessly whine about other players playing the game the way it was intended, which is to say, attacking their rivals. When I was a kid, you never wanted to give the slightest hint that you might be a "pussy".
These kids actually feel entitled to be "left alone", and seem quite sure they're standing on the moral high-ground when they demand it.
It's the GTA version of demanding a participation trophy, I think, and another symptom of the way kids are raised now. From a "fragile generation" perspective I see a lot of flaws in the authors argument. A lot of my disagreement comes from the privilege that the author was writing from. To me this placed minority youth at a severe disadvantage because micro-aggressions tear down confidence and make an unsafe learning environment for many students.
I also think that this article was based around a middle to upper class homogeneous family where there is opportunity to fill time with video games and expensive extracurricular activities.
Because of this, I feel that often times parents especially from a low socioeconomic status don't have the option to coddle their kids. However I think the author brings a point about how we think discomfort equates to unsafe. You like the thought of being with two sluts? How about three sluts? How many men do you want me to fuck? Three — one for each hole? Then one of them can slide into my cunt.
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