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This article is available for download as a free PDF ebook. Click the button below to download my free ebook. I would like some advice on how I can meet new people and get more friends. After all, friends form a big part of our life for most of us. They are the ones who walk through life together, share our ups and downs, and pains and joys. Broadly speaking, there are 3 types of friends:. Most of us are looking to make regular friends and if possible, true, soul friends.
No matter whether you just want to make normal or best friends, you can do that. When I was in junior college, I maintained this seclusive lifestyle, though I began to speak up more. If you take a look at the people out there who seem to make friends easily, they were probably seclusive themselves at some point.
Their social skills were likely all picked up over time. For this same reason, you can learn to become more sociable through time and practice. The first step is to develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people. Some of us see meeting new people as a scary event. We are concerned about making a good impression, whether the other person will like us, how to keep the conversation going, and so on.
The more we think about it, the scarier it seems. This initial apprehension develops into a mental fear, which takes a life of its own and unknowingly blocks us from making new friends. Shyness toward others is actually a result of fear. If so, start small first. Lower the difficulty of the task by starting off with your inner circle of friends, i.
Some ways to do that:. Once you are out there with people around you, someone has to make the first move. Get to know each other a little better! Maybe someone who is understanding, listens, has the same hobbies, watches the same movies, has similar educational background, etc. Give the friendship a chance to blossom. More importantly, give yourself a chance with this budding friendship. I have several very good friends who come from totally different backgrounds, and I would never have thought that we would be so close when I first knew them, simply because we are so different.
On the same note, open your heart to the person. This connection between you and the other party can only begin when your heart is open. This means to be trusting, have faith, and believe in the goodness of others. When I make new friends, I open myself fully, with full faith that they are good people, with good hearts and good intentions. I notice that because I do that, it has helped me foster a lot of genuine relationships which are built on trust, love and faith.
I know that because I can feel the warmth from all of you whether in your emails, comments, or messages. A friendship is about both you and the other person. Get to know the person as an individual. What defines the friendship is the connection between you and the friend. Show warmth, love, and respect toward everyone you meet.
Care for them like you would yourself. If you approach others with genuinity, you will attract people who want to connect genuinely. Among them will be your future true friends. Why do I say that?
Say you make many new friends by being vocal and brassy. So, just be yourself. The truest friendships are built with both parties accepting each other for who they are. A friendship is a supportive union between two people. Be there for your friends where you can. Does any of your friends need help currently? Is there anything you can help them with? How can you better support them? Treat them with emotional generosity.
Give because you want to, not because you feel obliged to. I find that the satisfaction I get from helping others and knowing they are better off is a reward greater than anything I can get in return.
At the end of the day, continual effort is required to maintain the friendship. Willingness to make the effort is what differentiates great friends from hi-bye friends. Ask your friends out every once in a while. The strength of your relationship is not measured by how frequently you meet. For some of my best friends, we meet only once every few months. If both of you have your own set of engagements, it may be hard to find time together.
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Still, making friends as an adult can be hard, and takes time — last week a study from the University of Kansas found that two people need to spend 90 hours together to become friends, or hours to qualify as close friends. Clinical psychologist Linda Blair agrees that this can be difficult to achieve: Joining a group or class based on something you really love, or volunteering for something you care about, can be a great first step for finding friendships, she advises.
Although it can be tricky and nerve-racking, making new friends as an adult can also be rewarding: Moving to the Warwickshire village of Bulkington in with her partner David, who is soon to retire, she relished the opportunity to start anew. Jacqueline started by introducing herself to her neighbours. She credits signing up to a variety of classes and groups at the village hall as the catalyst for her new friendships. But she now says it was one of the best decisions of her life.
A lifelong wheelchair user, Jacqueline was intrigued by a poster in the village hall advertising an adapted martial arts class. Having gone along with some doubts, she was surprised to find how much she enjoyed it.
Encouraged by her teacher, Carl Hodgetts , who in became the first wheelchair-using kickboxing instructor in the UK, she now proudly holds a white belt in Shiying Do adapted martial art. Over the past couple of years, and nearing 30, I made a conscious effort to make friends. Not to replace old ones, but to make new connections.
But I had resolved not to let these moments slip away and took her number. Fast forward to a meetup in a bar in central London. I had fretted about what to wear, whether she would recognise me and if there would be awkward silences; but we are now firm friends, exploring the capital and taking it in turns to suggest somewhere new. Joining local running and cycling groups has also been a positive step.
There are lots of options; the key is positivity. Tease yourself for not wanting to leave the conversation, while explaining you hope to meet again. Method 2 Quiz How can you keep a conversation interesting?
Let the other person do most of the talking. Make jokes and witty remarks. Think of interesting follow-up questions while the other person is talking. Make and keep plans to meet again. Have an interesting conversation topic ready. If you recently met someone that you get along with and made plans to see each other again, have something in mind to talk about.
There are few dependable ways to think of your own conversation topics. Reflect on recent events, both local or global. Think about seasonally-relevant conversation topics. If Halloween is coming up, ask your new friend what they plan to dress up as, or what their best-ever costume was. Try an old standby: However, whomever they are, they will certainly be different than you first expect. No one is exactly like anybody else, and nor should they be!
Don't compare new friends to other friends you've had in the past. Focus on the attributes that each of your friends have that make them who they are. Appreciate how their individuality contributes to your understanding of the world.
Remember and recall previous conversations. It is incredibly meaningful when we recall the conversations we have with one another and are able to pick up right where we left off — both literally, and metaphorically, in terms of developing a new friendship. If you know that you'll be talking to your friend in the future, note the topics you spoke about. Be prepared to bring them up again in the future. Make sure to follow up on this by mentioning it the next time you see them. This will show them that you have a genuine interest in them and that you keep your word.
Method 3 Quiz What would be a good topic of conversation for meeting up with a new friend? Holiday plans Try again! Things you've discussed in the past Close! All of the above Exactly!
First identify the reason you're shy and then try to overcome it. I used to be very shy and I overcame it just before graduating, I wish I had done it earlier. The key is to like yourself. If you're comfortable in your own skin then you won't care much about what other people have to say about you and you will stop being shy.
Identify your problem, mine was self-doubt. Not Helpful 0 Helpful I am starting middle school and I am still so nervous. How do I make friends? Just talk to people in class and sign up for clubs or sports. Smile at everyone you meet and ask new people about themselves to form a friendship fast. Not Helpful 3 Helpful How do you get into a long conversation with new friends during a lunch break? Ask your new friends a question about themselves, their families, or their hobbies. Avoid questions which can be answered with a "yes" or "no".
Ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation going. To end a conversation, say something like, "Sorry, I have to go now Not Helpful 6 Helpful I want to invite a new friend somewhere, where is a good place to go and have fun? You should do something together that you both like. You could go shopping, go swimming, have a sleepover and watch movies and eat popcorn, or you could go to Starbucks and get a coffee or hot chocolate!
Not Helpful 0 Helpful 4. Join a club or group. It also just depends on where you want to make new friends. For example, if you were at a party or at school, you could crack a joke and often that can lead to a conversation. Or you can stand next to someone and just say, "I'm hungry," or something like that.
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