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Stella is a year old, bitter and angry but also super down to Earth and go-with-the-flow, roller-skater, aspiring-writer woman living in New England. She is childless, marriage-less, and employed. Responses to this posting will also be entertained, and you may receive extra points for creativity. Please include a link to your Facebook profile, Twitter, or other social media accounts so Stella can verify you are a real person.
Anything related to LinkedIn will immediately be deleted and disqualify you from consideration. Applications will be accepted on a rolling basis. Sign in Get started. Stella is currently seeking to fill the following position: Hang out on a semi-regular basis, not to exceed once per week. New activity suggestions are highly encouraged. Do these shoes go with this dress? Stella has no clue. Communicate primarily via text. Phone calls will only be entertained if prefaced by a warning text.
Text-based communication topics may include: Email communication is also acceptable, and encouraged. Provide emotional support, but only if and when warranted as shall be determined by Stella. Sometimes people need favors and Stella is no exception.
Favors shall not exceed: Return favors see above ; The joy? Never miss a story from Bullshit. IST , when you sign up for Medium. Get updates Get updates.
According to Taylor , affiliative behaviors and tending activities reduce biological stress responses in both parents and offspring, thereby reducing stress-related health threats. Social isolation is associated with significantly enhanced risk of mortality, whereas social support is tied to positive health outcomes, including reduced risk of illness and death. Women have higher life expectancies from birth in most countries where there is equal access to medical care.
One hypothesis is that men's responses to stress which include aggression, social withdrawal, and substance abuse place them at risk for adverse health-related consequences. Group living and affiliation with multiple unrelated others of the same sex who do not share genetic interests also presents the problem of competing for access to limited resources, such as social status, food, and mates. Interpersonal stress is the most common and distressing type of stress for women.
In environments with a female-biased sex ratio, where males are a more limited resource, female-to-female competition for mates is intensified, sometimes even resorting to violence. Those are ages in which females are at peak reproductive potential and experience the most mating competition. However, the benefits of affiliation would have outweighed the costs in order for tend-and-befriend to have evolved. Rates of aggression between human males and females may not differ, but the patterns of aggression between the sexes do differ.
Although females in general are less physically aggressive, they tend to engage in as much or even more indirect aggression e. Consistent with this result, rates of violence and crime are higher among males and females under conditions of resource scarcity.
The costs of physical injury to a parent would also entail costs to his or her family. Lower variance in reproductive success and higher costs of physical aggression may explain the lower rates of physical aggression among human females compared to males. Therefore, they have less to gain from fighting and the risk of injury or death would produce greater fitness cost for females.
The survival of young children depended more on maternal than paternal care , which underscores the importance of maternal safety, survival, and risk aversion. Women befriend others not only for protection, but also to form alliances to compete with outgroup members for resources, such as food, mates, and social and cultural resources e.
Informational warfare is the strategic competitive tactics taking the form of indirect, verbal aggression directed towards rivals. There are several theories regarding gossip, including social bonding and group cohesion. However, consistent with informational warfare theory, the content of gossip is relevant to the context in which competition is occurring.
For example, when competing for a work promotion, people were more likely to spread negative work-related information about a competitor to coworkers. In addition, people are more likely to spread negative information about potential rivals but more likely to pass on positive information about family members and friends.
As mentioned above, befriending can serve to protect women from threats, including harm from other people. Such threats are not limited to physical harm but also include reputational damage. Women form friendships and alliances in part to compete for limited resources, and also in part to protect themselves from relational and reputational harm.
The presence of friends and allies can help deter malicious gossip, due to an alliance's greater ability to retaliate, compared to a single individual's ability. Studies by Hess and Hagen show that the presence of a competitor's friend reduced people's tendencies to gossip about the competitor.
Friends increase women's perceived capabilities for inflicting reputational harm on a rival as well as perceptions of defensive capabilities against indirect aggression. This theory is based in evolutionary psychology , a field which has generated significant criticism for its promotion of gender determinism. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article's Criticism or Controversy section may compromise the article's neutral point of view of the subject.
Please integrate the section's contents into the article as a whole, or rewrite the material. Phylogenetic substrates of a social nervous system". International Journal of Psychophysiology. Next we went to a grass field next to a long sidewalk He is starting to get frustrated I think because he is only at a penny for the day and we are several hours in at this point. So we leave there and go to another spot. At the next place we spend a couple hours.. I find a penny in the first 5 minutes or so..
I walk over to him a while later and he said he found a penny but dropped it as he stood up and couldn't find it again. So amusingly I spent a few minutes looking for his penny. I locate it, brush the dirt off it and tell him it is a wheat. So even though I have more coins than him, he is winning old coin of the day as everything else is more modern. So we head towards home..
I decide to pull down Butlers Park rd, having seen old pictures online. We walk around but can't tell where the park was, just woods and water.. He gets out of the car and says he is tired 70 years old and going inside for a beer. I tell him I am going to scan the yard for 15 minutes or so.
He had only found a dime and 2 pennies for the day. I wasn't much ahead with a couple quarters, and a few pennies. I scan the yard and in about 2 minutes I found a mercury dime from !! Then I found a modern quarter by the street. Then I found a coin with a Spanish head on it. Turns out to be a Panama quarter.
So the day ended well after all. Drove past the field at Waterloo yesterday to visit a small stream that crosses under Waterloo Valley Road, and thought of you and the metal detecting hobby.
Have you considered walking along the old Morris Canal, which is exposed in a few places in the area mostly along Waterloo Road, but also in places along Rockport Road. Granted it has been shut down since the 's, and chances of finding anything are slim, but if you do find anything it'll be old. Many of the places that are mentioned, I am not sure where they are. I appreciate any suggestions, but honestly the best places are simply the grass in everyone's yard, especially by a sidewalk, or an old tree with nice branches that kids may have climbed on.
Almost everyone has at least a small patch of grass but getting an offer to search is extremely rare. Also, because when someone gives me permission, I don't need to worry about someone coming up behind me while I have my headphones on. Especially since my damaged hearing I can't hear them coming. For example- at a restaurant I have to sit where I can see the room, generally with my back at a wall or at least the majority of the passing traffic in my peripheral vision.
I found a cool old porcelain door knob. I also found a ring. It is beat up and no marks inside it, so I am not sure if it is real silver- they should have a mark and this doesn't. But my 4th ring, which blows my mind since I never thought I would find one!
I also found a new local friend- I was in a park nearby detecting, took off my headphones to start diggin and I heard a voice- I turned expecting someone asking what I was doing and much to my surprise instead I saw a guy around my age with a detector and gear such as I had. Turns out he lives 5 minutes from me, has been detecting for 30 years and had been to this park many many times.
Hopefully we will get out and hunt together as it has sort of been a lonely hobby. Will be nice to have a buddy. Again- if anyone has a spot of grass, or a friend or neighbor they can ask- I would appreciate it. Before I went to work, I met up with my new detecting friend and we went to a new spot for a bit.
I found a weird 3 inch version of a quarter, a Coach tag, a silver baby cup, an Abrahms tank which is cool to me because I was a medic in an artillery unit in the Army , an eagle, a chucky cheese token and some pocket change. This may be a "sleeper". Here I am, a year later, still waiting for my metal detector..
Oh well, at least I can read about the cool stuff you're finding. If you hit the big million dollar stash, remember your favorite fan Then I'll get my metal detector. You're my new best friend LOL Actually you are kind of like a friend to us all, for sharing all your finds with us.
I have always enjoyed reading your posts. So I came home after work, with a short time left before dark. I went to an area of my yard that I have been over many many times before with the standard and small search coils. I had found another square nail there a couple days ago so decided to throw on my big coil and give it a go.
Just goes to show you that no matter how "worked out" you think a place is, it likely may not be. Sometimes you just need to switch up your technique or equipment;-. I used to have one similar to that but wings were to the sides.
It was my grandfathers, always made me think of him. Sadly someone stole it, don't think it had any value, just sentimental to me. Love seeing all your finds!! Pulled either a or Indian head penny out of my yard tonight. Hard to tell, these things are always toasted. I can be there in 20 minutes- and have 1. Side note- I have searched 3 house properties in Oxford and also the fire house I was quite surprised.
Lets hope that trend changes. Hi Josh Been watching your items about metal detecting. You seem to be having fun. Bought metal detectors, many years ago for my kids.
Thought I might get one for my Grandson, 10 years old, for Christmas. He lives in a Lake Community in NJ. Maybe look in the paths around the lake or at the beach. Don't want to get him a toy and don't want to spend a bundle.
Any suggestions for what I might look for? Hi MWK, I love it. Last week in my yard I found an old lead toy soldier figure, no way to date but the little guy has a hat, tall boots, a jacket with a satchel pouch of some sort and appears to be walking with maybe a rifle on his shoulder.
Looks colonial in style of dress to me. The same day my friend found an old wedding ring in my backyard. Just a plain band, female sized, appears to probably have been plated long ago but worn away. Last weekend while out hunting a house in an old town with my father in law who was visiting, he found a token that says I looked it up, and Paramount studios made a movie called too much harmony in I found a silver pendant that says Saint Luke and has a little bearded guy sitting in a robe.
On Monday after work, I pulled a 18xx shield nickel out of my yard. Too toasted to see a date, but this style was made between I never did hear back from the guy above who mentioned his yard in Oxford, I sent him a few private msg's on here, but apparently he disappeared. As for your grandson, honestly I think a 10 year old won't be detail specific enough to warrant anything more than a very basic inexpensive detector.
If he sticks with the hobby after a couple years, then upgrade. He won't be missing out for his uses, as even a cheap detector will find most stuff. As mentioned above, the more expensive detectors are specialized for things like salt water, looking for really deep stuff, and better identifying what an object might be before you dig.
Josh - Thought of you the other day. The husband and I went to Gettysburg and there were signs everywhere saying "no treasure hunting" with a pic of a metal detector on them. Well, I spend a LOT of time searching my yard. I'm sure my neighbors thing I am nuts. I go back and forth over the same areas again and again- different directions, different swing speeds, different ground moisture, different settings on the machine. If I spent as much time elsewhere, I would find more stuff there as well.
That being said, it is still fun to go new places as there is a chance of finding more stuff quicker if the site has never been searched before. I'll spend many days out in my yard finding nothing at all.
Looking to get out tomorrow with a detecting friend- anyone have a spot was can scan? If it's grass, it counts. I was hoping someone would ask, so I could share.
This silly forum software locks me out if nobody else responds. I went out with my friend all that day. We searched at a park for a few hours- each found nothing more than a couple modern coins. We then went to a soy bean field we have permission to search. He found an old button, I found nothing. I had a total of 2 quarters, a dime and 3 pennies for the day. So about 3pm we went home- him to blow leaves. I had nothing pressing to do so I came home, sat down and had a beer.
While drinking it, I looked out the window- saw the sunshine and thought to myself- get back out there and take advantage while you still can. I went back into my yard and sure enough after about 30 minutes I pulled a silver dime in an area that I have been over a million times.
It was a tough spot- right on the edge of the property next to a telephone pole and the neighbors fence which has an electric invisible dog system. The interference is crazy. Made my day though. A couple days after that, I had a chance to get out shortly before dark and figured I would go back to the same area of my yard and fight the interference again. I am glad I did because I found a large cent from Yes, it is larger than a quarter in both diameter and thickness.
If anyone else is curious about what is just below their grass.. Even if you don't think there is anything there- there probably is!! Was in my yard again today Found a wheat penny, came inside and had lunch, went back out and just found this- Spanish silver 8 Reales. My oldest silver, 3rd oldest coin, 1st Spanish silver My best find is a copper large cent.
I could only identify it because printed in the edge of the coin was "one hundred for a dollar" - took quite a bit of research to figure that one out.
I saw a guy metal detecting yesterday in the front yard of that lonely, old abandoned house on Route 57 towards Phillipsburg, at the light by the old abandoned liquor store. I wondered if it might be Josh! I love that old, sad house. I hope the guy had permission. Nope, wasn't me or anyone I know of. I hurt my back moving stuff in the house yesterday and can barely move.
Which sucks because I can't work and if I don't work I don't get paid. Oh well, it is cold and snowy out anyway. Whoever it was had to have been cold if he was out for very long at all.
I hope he found something cool though! I had on 2 pairs of warm socks, 2 pairs of gloves, a hooded sweatshirt under a hooded winter jacket and was still cold. Finding cool old stuff is a drug. I was thrilled to find something over years old. A member on here was nice enough to let me search her yard, which happened to be a few houses down from another members yard I searched last year. I found 2 quarters so I was really hopeful but those were the best finds.
At a park, my friend found a musket ball and I found a tiny harmonica. Weather is warming up, snow is melting, sun is setting later. I've been out a few hours here and there after work with my friend.
We were at a park the other day and I found a wheat penny among the modern coins. Noticed several other pennies from the late 50's-mid 60's, some nickels and dimes from ' So I stuck it out and stayed until dark, telling myself where there's wheat there could be silver. Found a 3rd wheat Not super old, but silver doesn't come often. I have only found 16 silver coins out of literally thousands of coins I have found.
I'm headed out today so if any of you see a guy by the street in Hackettstown, its me. I hope it doesn't rain. This is my 2nd post in a row- so the system is going to lock me out now. I was thinking about you, just yesterday! So glad you posted.
I'll keep ya going. I still didn't get a metal detector. So much for Christmas, huh? So, I'll just live vicariously through you, for now: Don't reply, to this, so you don't get locked out. I'll be waiting for your posts, when you find more goodies. Happy hunting, my friend. It is the only hobby I know of that pays for itself. Today I called my friend after I got off work- amusingly he answered the call from the park in Hackettstown that he was searching at- he was off work today.
He met me at another park we like to search. I got in about 2 hours before dark. This is getting too long to scroll, if the "recent", click doesn't work. I click on the time, as I'm supposed to, so it'll take me down, automatically, but for some reason, it doesn't always work. If that's an "old mine" diamond, you may have something special, there. Happy hunting, my friend! Josh - 60's's cap gun. In that condition, you'd be better off finding a Susan B Anthony.
Josh If that Matchbox car cleans up well, you may have a bit of a mini-treasure. I think my brother used to have that one. Some of them are very desirable and collectible. A bump for you too. The Matchbox is a Lamborghini Diablo. The stone settings on that heart pendant remind me of a European pin I have that was my grandmother's, and her grandmother's before her.
The metal is sort of pushed up to form a bezel. That might be quite old. It definitely was a pin at some point because I saw the 2 spots on the back where the pin would have went across. I figured it was just trash because 1 it doesn't seem to weigh much, and 2 the other stuff I found in the area it was in was all modernish. I'll dig it out of my junk pile and wash it off for a closer look. Don't throw out any jewelry, even if it looks crappy.
If not sure, a jeweler should be able to tell you about the metal, etc. The prongs , around the stones, indicates they are probably rhinestones, but can't say for sure, and they put rhinestones, in sterling, even if it feels light. I sell vintage jewelry and you would be surprised what some of it goes for Went out with my friend again today for a few hours.
I pulled over 70 coins. Nothing exciting for me though, just modernish. But the weather was great. He didn't find anywhere near as many coins as he spends a lot of time digging junk hoping for jewelry where I try to focus on just coin signals. He did however pulled a wheat penny and then a Indian cent. He was super happy- it was his first one ever. Then I came home, did some chores, and then went to a neighbors house for maybe an hour- only found 6 pennies there- but one was a wheat, and I found a musket ball.
First one of those I ever found. Went out with my friend again yesterday. Among his pocket change- he found a cool French aluminum coin from , as well as a wheat penny. He also found a wheel cap from a model T, as well as a pocket knife. Coolest thing I managed was a ring, a wheat, and a canadian cent. Other than that- 19 quarters, 14 nickels, 28 dimes, 32 normal pennies and a six flags token.
We were out all day- weather was great!! I sunburned my neck. This is 2 posts in a row for me- so I am locked out now. I'd LOVE to do what you do. We have a detector but I have NO idea how it works. I guess I mean I don't know how to set it for what it is you're looking for. I also would love to see any jewelry you find Went out with my friend again after work tonight for a little while.
Highlights of my finds were a wheat penny, a buffalo nickel, and a mens 14k gold wedding band. I remember my stepdad bought rolls and rolls of pennies back in the 70s.
We would sort out all the wheats into a coffee can, roll the rest back up and bring them back for more. Ended up with can after can of wheat pennies. At the time I think they were worth 2 cents. What are they worth these days? Dang, I have no idea what happened to those cans of pennies!
Yes- that is called coin roll hunting. A lot of the metal detecting guys that live in cold areas do that in the winter. I'm sure youtube videos as well even though I haven't checked.. Most don't do pennies though- they go for quarters, half dollars, or dimes and hope for silver. Went out with my buddy again yesterday. Highlights of my day- Another buffalo nickel , and Indian cents , , , , Wheats a military button 2 different cross type things- pic of one attached.
This is my 2nd post in a row, so locked out again. I enjoy this thread. I'm asking this because I have to use a metal detector to find lot pins for work often. Most of the pins I am trying to locate are iron with a mixed metal top that comes up as coins or aluminum.
I don't dig a lot of trash because I ignore the signals most trash gives. There are a lot of variables. Generally it goes like this- If the object is a consistent material, and of a certain size and shape- such as a quarter- and it only a few inches deep as most things are- the detector is pretty good at giving you a solid indication of what is there.
Most commonly found pocket change, in a clean area- I can tell you what it is before I dig it. Dime, quarter, penny, etc.
If there are power lines nearby, the EMF will makes signals jumpy. Highly mineralized soil makes less consistent readings and cuts depth as it acts like driving in the fog with your high beams on. The deeper the object- the less accurate the identification of the item.
Stuff that is odd shaped like pull tabs, foil, can shreds can give odd signals. Rusty old nails too. But even a coin can give different signals depending on which angle you hit it at- come at it flat on?
Turn and come at it on it's edge? You can get a different reading or no reading at all. Once you get to items that have odd shapes and more than one material such as jewelry- all bets are off. So you basically just 'guess' and take a chance on where the signal is in the range of possibilities.
On one end of the scale you have iron, which is almost always junk- the other end is coins and silver- pretty safe to dig that and see whats what. In the center is where aluminum, foils, pull tabs fall- but is also where gold and a lot of jewelry is. So if you want jewelry you end up digging a lot of scrap. The gold ring I got last week rang up as a nickel so it surprised me. My friend digs everything- all day long, every day in hopes of finding cool artifacts.
I prefer to just dig what I expect is a coin signal. I generally end the day with a much higher coin count than him, and he ends up with a pile of trash. One day he will find something cool that I missed though because I ignore most signals that may be jewelry or gold coins. The few things I have found that are not coins is just sheer luck. Most of my rings, necklaces, etc have been silver just because of the fact of where it is on the scale- and my greater chance to dig that.
Are the pins you are looking for all the same pin? If so- wave one in front of your detector and note exactly where it signals.
It really does take practice, experience, and awareness of the different variables in each situation and how to interpret what you are hearing and seeing.
Don't let that intimidate anyone though- it is easy to be decent at this hobby- just more difficult to be really good at it. Josh I found a similar maltese cross, enamel pin that had LBC on it. They are calling it an antique Catholic Order of Foresters. It does have COF on it too. I just can't determine, yet what the LBC stands for I love stuff like that It looks like there is more writing on yours Can you ck it and let me know what it says???
Went out for a bit yesterday. Found 7 quarters, 3 nickels, 13 dimes, 14 pennies, and another Buffalo nickel. I have wanted to find a Buffalo nickel for quite a while- and I have found 3 in the last 3 hunts. Wouldn't believe it if someone told me that was going to happen.
The odds are staggering. I bet that's referring to the amount the company held in surety to guarantee payment of the insurance policies - great stuff Josh. Had a good hunt a few nights ago- in about 30 minutes I pulled 3 silver dimes. A mercury, a mercury, a Roosevelt, and a wheat, a wheat, and wheat. I also found what I thought was an old christmas ornament- but once I cleaned it off- and out- turns out is is a crotal bell - old sleighbell off a horse from the s most likely.
Pretty neat- I am probably the first person to hear it ring in over a century. Silver doesn't come often- at least to me- I've found thousands of coins at this point and have only found 20 silver coins total- and 5 of those were in my own yard. So to pull 3 in 1 day- in about 30 minutes was awesome. After having done this hobby for 1. I know people think I am strange and I look weird- but boy is it addictive.
Oh, I don't think it's strange ,at all! It's still on my wish list. I can only buy a metal detector , when I sell all my "valuable" junk. Then, you'll have some competition I'm a chronic procrastinator. Keep on posting, Josh. I love reading them. Went out today with my friend to a school in the area. We were there for a few hours. He left after a short time period because he had to be home by 10 to get ready for work. He pulled almost 50 coins, while getting rained on. I stayed a little while longer, mostly standing in a little area under a big tree to stay dry as possible, then moved out to the open field when the rain stopped- I pulled coins.
I left because I literally got tired of digging every 10 seconds, was by myself and decided we can always go back another day. We found it quite amazing. The school must have some sort of ritual where they take money and just throw it in the grass every day for decades!!
Needless to say- we will be going back. According to the Garrett book on "coinshooting", trees in parks or especially schools are usually good hunting spots due to kids hanging out and lounging around trees, climbing trees and hanging upside down from branches or swinging from various types of swings or on the branches themselves.
Any local park or school yard is good for finding pocket change. Unfortunately it is a trade off though- places like this also don't have anything old and cool- the best stuff is in the privately owned yards of houses.
I haven't received any new permissions for a yard or sidewalk curb strip of grass in a long time though- so we have no where else to go other than dig pocket change. Kills me too- to drive down all the streets and see the grass between the street and sidewalk and know there is cool stuff just sitting an inch or 2 below the surface.
Or a big old tree with limbs that you know kids played on decades ago. On Butlers park road there is an area of grass next to a river with several big old climbing trees- but I think it is private property. I've stopped three times to ask the house across from it- the first time a baby sitter answered the door and even tried to get a hold of the owner on her cell phone- but couldn't.
Said to stop back another day. I've gone twice more since and knocked but nobody was home. I haven't read all the posts. Have you tried the trail along the pequest here in Liberty? Went out to the school early today for a bit before my friend had to go to work. I pulled 53 quarters among the other coins. Weather should cool down tomorrow- my friend and I plan on heading out somewhere. Does anyone have a yard, curb strip, or know of a place we can search? We have been back to the school I was talking about above many times and I have found 2 silver dimes there and my friend found 1 silver dime.
Countless other coins and many wheats. I also found a silver bracelet there- oddly enough right next to first base on one of the ball fields, about 6 inches down. It was broken and bent so I thought it was a piece of scrap until I saw the design. Luckily my friend is a jeweler so he repaired it for me. I found a crushed old silver thimble- I am hoping to have him attempt to repair it at some point. I found a old small button that has an exact copy of a buffalo nickel Indian head on it- weird.
My friend found a half dime from in near perfect condition. I found another silver ring- this one has two cupids reaching out and holding a heart in the middle. I found a silver quarter 2 days ago. I found several more buttons of various styles. I also found another religious medal. Many odds and ends, more match box cars, shot gun shells, square nails, lots of pull tabs and bottle caps. More 'modern' pocket change than I know what to do with. Just in quarters alone I have completely filled a mason jar and have started another.
Same is true for pennies. My jars of dimes and nickels are about half full. Any patch of grass- even only a few feet can hide treasures.
Thought this was a cool find. My nephew left his metal detector for my daughter to try. She found this in the wooded area behind our house. Also found an arrow, a doll foot with a flipper and some pop tabs. This is a hub cap from the company which made cars between I cleaned it up.
Skippy it showed on Google as a hub can on wooden spoked wheels. The car manufacturer was Essex Motors in Detroit. I'd love to find that. Went out today with my buddy and he took his son for his first time ever out. I lent his son my spare detector and digger tool to use. Gave him a quick class on how to use it and set him loose. Or download our app "Guided Lessons by Education. Thank you for your input. This science fair idea project identifies the active ingredients in soap and experiments with the properties of soap.
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you share viral content that everyone's buzzing about. "These individuals are often extremely concerned with attention and social validation. They are likely to be. I am seeking friends (or even family). I find myself spending a friend to explore with. I am open to most activities and I love finding new places!. Stella is currently seeking to fill the following position: FRIEND. running, yoga, skiing, and a wide variety of other physical activities (except for.