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I can't predict the past. I annoy myself sometimes. Perhaps more often than necessary. After writing last week's blog and subsequently realising it ran several large paragraphs longer than was sensible, I chopped them out to save for later.

As I sit down today to paste them in it soon becomes clear that I've deleted the fucking document during a PC clean up rampage.

Upside though, with the blog that you're about to read [or more likely scroll past], I've managed to stretch stories of my travels adventures into a third week thus saving myself from actually having to conjure a pile of witty babble about what's been going on around here.

As a matter of fact that could be squeezed down to: Anyway today I attempt to cover Shenzhen and Macau.

Thankfully Shenzhen is just 45 minutes by train ride across the border from Hong Kong. Found the experience somewhat intimidating. They don't smile and aren't particularly friendly.

Oh and make sure you press the 'smiley' button when rating their service unless you like being taken away for questioning [or so I was told]. That didn't last long though - upon exiting immigration we immediately made a friend. A twerpy Chinese guy who was more than happy to answer questions. He directed us to nearby Luoho Mall where it turned out he had a shop.

This went on for a while - he circled around trying to coax us in while we explored and tried to lose him in other stores. Even a labyrinth fabric store and elevator weren't enough. A polite "Mate, fuck off! As most of the shops weren't yet open we bailed and headed for an area called Huaqiangbei. Took a while but we eventually find a cab rank and then use my iPhone with the name written in Chinese to communicate where we wanted to go.

Imagine a city with 12M population where they ALL drive that way. Fearing for my life I began looking for a seatbelt. The driver laughed and said "No belt! Ten minutes, white knuckles and skid-marked undies later we pulled up at the front of SEG Electronics Market and were again quickly set upon by a guy selling digital alarm clocks.

Turned out he was a translator and tour guide and this is what he did on his day off. That's where SEG comes in. A gargantuan mall with hundreds if not thousands of stalls selling every conceivable computer part, most of which are produced locally.

The ground level was small stuff like capacitors and resistors. As you venture up there's floors for hard drives, motherboards, video cards, cables, keyboards, monitors It's loud, your eyes also burn from the cigarette smoke and thousands upon thousands or people are crawling all over like ants.

It is overwhelming to the point I didn't buy anything because I had no idea where to begin. Outside and along the street are countless malls selling RC toys, spy equipment [scary], at least 4 or 5 malls just dedicated to LED lighting - it seemed to go on forever but most amazing were the mobile phone markets. Imagine a trading floor when the stock market is crashing She'd gone back earlier because, of course, that's where all the best knock off handbag and clothes shopping was.

She also had my passport. What I hadn't counted on was peak hour and not being able to get a cab. Walked around for an hour with no luck so finally conceded and found the subway. Great idea except practically nothing is sign posted in English.

Thank god for some random guy behind me at the ticket machines [button to change language to English not written in English Luoho Mall was cranking by this time and if you like pressure sales tactics then it's a must see. They are relentless like you can't believe and whilst that's fucking annoying, their copy goods are high quality and ridiculously cheap.

Shenzhen should be on everybody's list of places to go before they die. The fact it's one of the most populous cities in China probably explains why I'd never felt more insignificant. It's ultramodern, crazy busy and there are people everywhere you look. Coming out of immigration we had no plan of what and where to go.

Soon enough you find a bus station with dozens of buses that will take you to any number for casinos. We jumped aboard one for the Venetian and after about 15 minutes roll in a huge depot with dozens and dozens of other Venetian-painted buses.

The hotel and casino complex is massive, apparently the biggest single structure building in Asia and modelled after the Venetian in Vegas. Imagine the nicest house you've ever seen, finished to the highest standard.

From there we hit all the surrounding casinos within walking distance including Galaxy [my favourite], Crown and others I can't remember the names of. They're all huge, amazing and totally OTT. Almost hate to admit it but I'm glad we went and I'd even happily go back again too - many, many more casinos to explore.

Here's a bunch of Shenzhen and Macau pics if you're interested. The last few weeks of blogging have definitely been the truncated versions. Long story short though - everything we did and everywhere we went in Asia was magnitudes better than I had hoped If you've never been and get the chance then don't hesitate.

And now let's get on with the update. Oh one more thing. I kind of screwed up last week with the set of Nadia Aria images which were posted Here's the rest of the set. In hindsight, my Facebook post should prbably have said "I've blown the head gasket on my Ford XR3" rather than "I've just fucked a fourteen year old escort".

The police still haven't seen the funny side of it, and they've confiscated my laptop. However, the news isn't all bad - the wife has gone to stay with her mother. The bad is your baby is ginger, the good news is it's stillborn". The wind came up and blew sand all over him until he was covered with only his big toe sticking out. An old nympho was walking down the beach, saw the toe sticking up, pulled down her bikini bottom and squatted over the toe.

She humped away till she was satisfied, pulled up her bikini bottoms and left. The guy woke up, brushed the sand away and left, not knowing what happened.

The next day his foot itched like hell and had a sore on it. He went to the doctor and after an exam the doc told him he had syphilis of the big toe. Knows exactly how to fix your swing even though you didn't ask. Employs a vast array of swing jargon that only confuses you further. Favourite expression "Wait, try this! Thinks he is honouring spirit of the game by never picking up. Not in the spirit of the game: Favourite expression "Put me down for a 10".

Considers golf course an extension of his office, home, therapist's couch, etc. Has perfected the balancing-phone-on-the shoulder wedge shot. I gotta take this". Convinced he's got a shot with the cart girl. Would be crushed to learn she offered the same flirty laugh and bag of nuts to foursome of geeks up ahead. Colour-coordinated outfit, matching logos and oversized tour bag suggest he's played professionally. Topped drive off the first tee suggests otherwise. Can't remember his score without reliving every shot in detail.

Four I had that funky lie in the bunker and left it in the bunker" Unable to fathom a round of golf without a steady stream of adult beverages. Idea of restraint is to hold off drinking The easiest golfer to locate on the course thanks to waft of smoke trailing behind him.

Oblivious to playing partners struggling for air - and the ash droppings on his belly. The 15 handicap who is somehow playing 'much better' than he has in years. Feigns apology when he drops bunker shot within inches of cup, then kicks sand off his shoes like a tour pro. Favourite expression "I guess it's just one of those days" So preoccupied with his own game never looks for anyone else's ball.

When driving a cart, always blows past your ball and heads directly to his. What do YOU think of my swing? Never passes a water hazard without his trusty scoop at the ready. Last bought a new sleeve of balls in the late 80s. Has unique ability to allow even the most pleasant days to be soured by any bad swing, bounce, or lie.

Relies on Ball Retriever Guy to occasionally fetch clubs out of lake.

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It was Saturday, December 15, A year later she was baptized and formally became an Episcopalian. By that time it was clear she would resemble her tall, handsome Irish father more than her Teutonic-featured mother, as did the other two children.

They named her Anna Louise. Anna Louise was nearing her fifth birthday in , when two of her father's friends brought him home one afternoon and the children saw their mother help them carry their father into his bedroom. They ever saw him alive again. He died in five days, a victim of pneumonia. She recalled little of her father while he was alive, only that he sometimes came home and hardly talked to anyone, and at other times he was tender and brought home gifts. One of the most exciting of these occasions was when he brought home beautiful dolls, one for her and another for Barbara, and everyone marveled because they said her doll looked just like her.

There was a rocking horse for Lou Parnell too. On these occasions there was always a faint, pleasant smell on his breath when he kissed her and the other children as he handed them their gifts. She also recalled times when their home was full of strangers. They would sit and drink, mostly beer, with their father, while she, Barbara and Lou Parnell played in the other room. Even when they got tired at night and went to sleep, she would sometimes awaken and hear their voices, with her father's the loudest of all.

She would hear words not even Lou Parnell, who was three years older, could understand. But the words seemed very important to her father and his friends. Once or twice she asked her mother to tell her what they were talking about. Her mother tried to explain, but she was not very successful, usually telling her to wait until she and Barbara and Lou Parnell were a little older.

Her mother proved to be right. It was not long before Anna Louise began hearing the same words again and they began to take meaning, forming a pattern and shaping her life. When she was seventeen her mother told her the truth about her father - Hugh Mohan was a heavy drinker, and it was a severe cold after a long drinking spree in "Blind" Chris Buckley's saloon, which turned into pneumonia, and killed him when he was only forty years old.

But a good many things had happened before her mother got around to talking about Hugh Mohan. By that time, they were living in Nevada and her mother had remarried and become Mrs. By that time, however, Louise had learned so much about her father and her four grandparents, and she had surrounded their lives with such a romantic aura, it wouldn't have mattered to her if her father had died on the gallows for involvement in heinous mass murder.

Louise herself did not begin drinking until when she was married to Bullitt. Until that time she rarely smelled liquor on a man's breath without associating it with her father's tenderness. First in her dream world peopled by wonderful men and women was - of course - her father; but as her mother, bit by bit, unfolded the story of her grandparents, they too quickly joined the ranks" of all who deserved beatification for having lived and died as heroes.

It was not difficult for her to romanticize her four grandparents - alt were European refugees from hunger, tyranny and political turmoil during the middle of the nineteenth century. On her mother's side were Christian Louis Flick and his wife Barbara. They were newlyweds in Germany he was born in Hesse, she in Baden when they joined other political activists fleeing Europe turmoil created by an odd combination of a middle class and oppressed workers, inspired by Marx-Engels theories, rebelling against monarchial arrogance and corruption.

In America , they lived for a while in St. Charles in Louisiana , where her grandfather worked as a barber. With news that gold had been discovered in California , they joined the stampede from all over the world to what is now the Sacramento area, settling at Marysville. Here Grandfather Flick opened the mining camp's first barbershop. Two years later he built the town's first hotel, naming it Hotel St. Charles, after his first home in America.

Among the first tenants at the new Hotel St. Charles was a bachelor merchant named Rowland H. Macy, who went broke in Marysville, but salvaged enough gold to return east and get into the department store business. The Flicks had three children: When gold began to give out around Marysville, the Flicks joined hundreds of others heading for Virginia City in Nevada.

Here Flick opened a hair-dressing emporium with another German immigrant, Rudolph Grebner. They prospered, their patrons being mostly prostitutes, of whom there were a great many in Virginia City. In a disastrous fire destroyed the entire business section of Virginia City , and the Flicks, along with everyone else in business, were ruined. They managed to reach San Francisco , where Flick had a brother in the bakery business.

Here in , Barbara Louisa, twenty-three, tightly-corseted and irresistibly pretty in her "bolero jacket and small hat perched precariously on top her blonde hair, heard Hugh Jonathan Mohan address a Democratic Party picnic. Even before he came to their table to say hello, while circulating among the crowd, Barbara Louisa was hopelessly in love with him.

Mohan was seven years older than she was. They were married after a brief courtship. The Mohans, Louise's other grandparents, were able to provide her active imagination with fuel that was even more inflammatory.

For while the Flicks, upon arrival in America , quickly joined the mainstream of life in their new homeland, and pushed their rebellious past to a remote place in their memories, the Mohans never forgot the tyranny and ruthlessness of their former British overlords. Hugh himself was born in Pennsylvania , two years after his parents settled there.

They were among the countless thousands who fled Ireland and death by starvation the Great Potato Famine of brought in its wake. The Mohans, for many years fierce Protestant Irish fighters for a free Ireland , almost immediately became involved in the relentless struggle Irish-Americans were waging to rid their former homeland of the British. Hugh was a few months past his sixteenth birthday when he joined the large gangs of young Irishmen hired to lay the tracks for the Union Pacific, building America 's first trans-continental railroad.

Scores of the young Irish laborers perished under the blistering sun in the summer and below zero weather in the winter while working - often with rifles over their shoulders to fight off resentful Indians. There, the Union Pacific tracks joined those of the old Central Pacific, built by thousands of Chinese coolies working their way eastward from Sacramento over the Sierra Nevada. When the great celebration in Utah ended, the bands stopped playing and the governors and other politicians ended their speeches proclaiming the start of a new era for railroading along with growth of America that would never end For the railroads the end came in , exactly one hundred years later, when a gene rous Congress, which had provided the means for the building of the railroads, had to start bailing them out to avoid bankruptcy.

Most of them remained laborers, but a good many became businessmen, politicians and journalists. The Chinese coolies, who had survived the hardships involved in laying railroad tracks over the almost impassable mountains, also headed for San Francisco. Here they were herded into a ten block square, vermin-ridden, disease infested area, which ultimately became one of San Francisco's major tourist attractions - it's famous Chinatown.

Hugh began by working in a fish-cleaning plant in San Francisco , which had been booming since the California Gold Rush began. Then he turned to print shops and soon learned enough about setting type and proper construction of sentences while setting them in type, to be able to list himself in the San Francisco City Directory as a free-lance journalist.

He, also, soon became an articulate member of the tightly controlled Democratic Party machine in San Francisco , and a favorite of "Blind Boss" Chris Buckley, who for a time ran City Hall from his saloon at Bush Street.

The political "spoils system" was in full bloom and every Democrat, down to those who tacked up election placards on telephone poles, was assured a job. Department of Labor in those days being responsible for the naturalization of aliens before they became eligible to vote. With the appointment and a secure income, Hugh Mohan moved his family from the rickety old house on Seventh Street where they had been living, to the expensive brick home at Howard Street , where Louise was born.

Louise's father was, by that time, not only a fiery orator able to arouse San Francisco Irish, German and other poorly-paid workers to the Democratic cause at election time, he had also become a leader among those extreme radical Irish-Americans in San Francisco favoring the sending of guerilla saboteurs into Canada in their increasingly-violent crusade against the British.

In the eighteen-eighties, Mohan and his fellow Irish activists were still smarting from the disastrous end of the attempt by Irish-American extremists to invade Canada. In , they actually managed to get an "army" of seven thousand into Canada and claim a victory by routing the Canadians. The United States government, however, with Democrat Andrew Johnson in the White House, smashed the drive into Canada by closing the border, seizing the weapons of the invaders, and arresting the leaders.

A second attempt four years later was smashed even more harshly, this time by Republican President Ulysses S. Nothing apparently came of the guerilla-saboteur proposal. But in the years to come, Louise would hear echoes of the muffled voices of the father she worshipped and his friends as they drank beer and argued; she would hear them as John Reed talked with radical Irish friends in Greenwich Village; she would hear them as she was writing a moving tribute for the old Masses published by Max Eastman, lauding the life of Sir Roger Casement, the Irish patriot executed by the British as a traitor; and she would hear them again as a journalist when Irish-American senators with long memories, would scuttle Woodrow Wilson's hopes for United States membership in the League of Nations.

He needed their support, but he also needed the support of England 's Lloyd George, whose ruthless crushing of Irish revolts none of them forgot. He could not have both. Louise spent her childhood - the most critically formative years in the development of a child's personality - and her adolescent years in Nevada: Six years around Reno , and before that, ten in a wild, boisterous, booming railroad town, some thirty miles east of Reno called Wadsworth.

Here in Nevada, she got her elementary and high school education, lived through the violence which greeted Eu gene Debs' attempt to organize a united and effective labor organization, helped collect food and clothing for the bedraggled families of striking miners driven from Colorado by militia and deputized strike-breakers.

Here she learned that a sure-fire way to attract attention to herself was by doing and saying things which would shock people. By the time she was thirteen, she was boasting about an imaginary sexual rendezvous with a twenty-year old man in a boxcar on a side-track in the railroad yards, but when she actually did have her first affair at fourteen and a half, it fell far short of her romantic expectations.

From that affair, however, and those that followed on the University of Nevada and Oregon campuses she did learn "the ways of the world," and this played an important part in shaping her life. While she shocked convention, men found her fascinating and alluring.

She found that she could gain the attention of the most important, handsome men almost effortlessly, and she quickly learned to exploit her powers. Sex, she became convinced, could become a potent force in helping her achieve her goals, including that of becoming a journalist-crusader the way her rebellious Irish father had been. When Hugh Mohan died in , he left a widow and three children, as well as a lot of unpaid bills.

With nowhere else to turn, except her younger sister, Marynell, who had by then become Mrs. Ernest Girvin, the wife of a hard-pressed San Francisco court reporter, Mrs. Mohan decided to accept the invitation of brother Philip to join him in Nevada until she got over the shock of losing Hugh and could begin to make a new life for herself and the children.

In Nevada , Philip Flick, the pipe fitter, was now a farmer on one hundred and sixty irrigated acres nine miles northeast of Reno.

He had left San Francisco shortly after Louise was born and moved back to Virginia City , Nevada , where he had worked in mines before the fire ruined the Flicks. What lured him back was Mary Crestwell, with whom he had been corresponding. They were promptly married and when their first child was stillborn, Philip decided to try his hand at farming. This was a time when Nevada 's economic picture was beginning to change and the state was making it easy for unemployed miners to become farmers.

In January of , Mrs. Mohan and her two young daughters, Louise, five, and Barbara, some eighteen months older, arrived in Reno. It was to have been a temporary arrangement, but it didn't turn out that way, and it was many years before Louise's mother saw Lou Parnell again. Louise herself never did.

If she had she would have been bitterly disappointed. There was nothing in his career to associate him even remotely with his namesake, the Irish freedom fighter, Charles Stewart Parnell. Indeed, he represented everything for which his father and Louise had contempt, an average Joe Blow or Smith, who would never rock any boat. And yet, it was he and Sheridan Bryant who were the only ones around in to mourn the death of Louise's mother.

Eighteen months after Mrs. Bryant, to whom Uncle Philip introduced her one spring afternoon in downtown Reno while they were doing the weekly shopping for groceries. Sheridan was short and stocky, with a round face and a pleasant smile. He boasted a lone gold tooth in the center of the upper row, a sign in those days that the tooth's owner was no plain gink; he was somebody with ambition. Sheridan Bryant's ambition was to be a railroad conductor on the Southern Pacific, whose biggest division point between Salt Lake City in Utah , and Sacramento , was at Wadsworth.

He frequently came to Reno on a free railroad pass to visit his brother Sherman, a Washoe county deputy sheriff. When he was introduced to Louise's mother, his visits became more frequent. Sheridan and Sherman, named by their father, a Civil War soldier, after the two great gene rals in that war, came west to find new homes as did so many others when the war was over.

As for the mother, she faced his growing interest in her with mixed feelings. He was totally different from the handsome, passionate, intellectually and physically stimulating Hugh Mohan, who had encouraged her to continue her cultural interests - music, writing, good books - interests which had started in rip-roaring Virginia City when she was a teenager.

There she had tried to keep aloof of her surroundings and was shocked to learn the sort of customers her father's hairdressing emporium catered to. She drew closer to her German mother, and showed Louise a clipping about her mother from the old Virginia City Territorial Enterprise which she had always treasured: Among our First Ladies, resplendently gowned, were the following: Rothbucker, Miss Morgan, Mrs.

Now she was thirty-five, a widow with three children, she knew nothing at all about earning a livelihood, and life on the ranch was beginning to become difficult. Aunt Mary was not very subtle about hints that her sister-in-law and two young nieces were becoming a burden. Sheridan Bryant, her courter, seemed kind, pleasant and gene rous, with a steady job in a town where the two girls could attend school.

They signed an application for a marriage license, and were married within an hour by Justice of the Peace, J. The girls were present, Barbara happy, Louise disapproving. He's not like Papa and Uncle Philip. They left for Wadsworth a few hours later. It was not a long ride. Aboard the train Sheridan introduced his new family to the train crew, and could hardly wait to begin showing them off to his friends and neighbors in Wadsworth.

Bryant looked appraisingly about her when they all got off the train, at the tiny park in front of the depot, at the buildings with their high wooden fronts, and at the people to whom she was introduced, most of them in work clothes. Louise and Barbara were wide-eyed and excited. There was so much new and strange to see and marvel at. Wadsworth is now one of Nevada 's many ghost towns, a dusty, forlorn little place on Interstate There is very little left to recall the riotous place it was when the Bryants came to live there in It was then Nevada 's biggest railroad division point - a booming, brawling, thriving saloon and brothel-crowded town - a rough place in which to raise children.

The town began to sink into dusty obscurity after the Bryants had lived there ten years. That was when the railroad decided to move its division point to Sparks , just east of Reno. This involved moving all the buildings and everything else out of Wadsworth, because it had been built on part of the Piute Indian Reservation, and the railroad, called the Central Pacific when it was being built, and now a part of the giant Southern Pacific network, having no title to the land, could find no customers for houses and other company-owned buildings without the land on which they were built.

What had happened was that the four men, now revered in California for their beneficence — Leland Stanford, Collis Huntington, Mark Hopkins and Charlie Crocker — had overreached themselves. They had managed to bamboozle the federal government, blackmail communities and bribe lawmakers in order to get the old Central Pacific Railroad built. However, they had taken the Piute Indians for granted, and the land undisputedly belonged to them.

What still remains in Wadsworth is the large two-story, brick school building, with its huge exterior, steel cylindrical fire escape down which Louise and all the other children screamed joyfully as they spiraled down the shiny slide during fire drills.

The only other reminder of early Wadsworth is the small, white-painted clapboard interdenominational church. Here Louise and Barbara attended Sunday school, and it was here also, in , three years after he was born, that Louise's brother Floyd, the future Rhodes Scholar, friend and associate of Herbert Hoover, vice-president of Standard Oil Company of California and assistant to Secretary of Defense Wilson during the Eisenhower years, was baptized into the Episcopalian faith.

Early railroad division points in the Western United States all looked alike. They were established along the railroad's main line, the distance between them determined by the terrain over which locomotives and crews were able to haul freight and passenger trains before the crews and locomotives had to be changed, somewhat the way horses and riders had to be changed during the old Pony Express days.

Occasionally it was possible to build a division point at a spot on the main line where a town or village was already established, as in the case of Wadsworth , which was an Indian trading post before the railroad came through. There never was a railroad town where the main street wasn't called Railroad Street , and never one where all the bachelors didn't live in boarding houses, gene rally run by widows whose husbands had been killed in train wrecks or saloon brawls.

For those with families there was always a long string of one-story homes exactly alike - always painted red and always with front doors facing the street and back porches a short distance from the railroad yard. The homes were railroad-owned and when a bachelor got married he moved out of his boarding house and usually into one of these dwellings.

The Bryants began life in one of these houses near the west end of Railroad Street , some distance from the main part of town. Two things fascinated Louise and Barbara from almost the moment they moved in -- the roundhouse where the locomotives were kept while being checked and serviced after each regular run, and a big two-story frame house in a large hollow across the street from their home, which had a wide porch running the full length in front. It was one of Wadsworth 's twenty-four whorehouses, called "houses of ill fame" by genteel folks.

The roundhouse they were able to watch anytime they wished, but the place across the street, only when Mrs. Bryant and Sheridan were not around. The roundhouse was a large, brick, half-circular structure, with only the outside half-circle walled in.

Two dozen sets of rails began inside the building and extended outside like the spokes of a wheel, ending at the end of a huge, round, concrete pit.

In the exact center of the pit was a heavy steel column on top of which was a narrow bridge with a pair of tracks. The column with its bridge was so precisely balanced it could be easily turned and the tracks lined up with any pair of those which led into the roundhouse.

Louise never got tired watching a hostler bring a huge locomotive onto the bridge tracks and slowly and carefully balance it in the exact center so that the locomotive and bridge rocked gently, the way a well-balanced teeter-totter does. Then the whole business was easily pushed around until the tracks were lined up with a vacant roundhouse stall. Then came two toots by the hostler inside the cab and the huge mass of steel lumbered slowly into the roundhouse.

The house across the street was another matter. Each night it was brightly lit, and men would go in, and sometimes they would be staggering when they came out. On warm evenings there would always be a half-dozen ladies in beautiful clothes on the wide porch.

At first, only a few days after they moved in, when Louise asked her mother about the women, the men, and why the house was always lit up at night, Mrs. Bryant was cross and told her it was nothing she and Barbara were to talk about, and ordered them to keep away from the front windows. But then the mother recalled her own shock as a teenager when, not having been told, she learned the truth about the women whose hair was made to look pretty by her own father in his hairdressing emporium, and she decided there was no way to evade the problem of satisfying their curiosity forever.

She began by telling them that when they grew older they would understand much better, but in the meantime it was enough for them to know that the women across the street were forced to do bad things with men they didn't even like, because their parents were poor and they had no husbands to take care of them, and that this was the only way they could get money to buy food and other things that they needed.

Louise immediately demanded to know what the bad things were, but Mrs. Bryant only told her again that they would understand more when they were older, adding that she and Barbara should choose their lives carefully, so that under no circumstances would they ever find themselves having to do what the women across the street had to do in order to live.

Louise thought of asking Sheridan , but thought better of that. She was always comparing him with the picture of her daring, handsome father, and he always came off most unfavorably. When school began she soon discovered that her school-mates were impressed when she talked about the bad things the ladies, who lived across the street from her home, had to do with men they didn't even like.

She was learning that there were many ways one could become popular. Louise and Barbara began their formal education in Wadsworth in September and by the time the term ended in June of , it was clear that if Louise achieved fame either at Wadsworth or on college campuses, it would not be scholastically.

She did very well, however, on both the University of Nevada and Oregon campuses in American and world history, English literature and in art. While she was a bright student who made good grades in subjects she was interested in, she became bored with school routine almost as soon as the novelty of being in class with a lot of boys and girls wore off, and she would wait impatiently for recess, when more important subjects than school work could be discussed.

She enjoyed the excitement that came with the periodic fire drills, and at home she suddenly began to find excuses for not plunging eagerly into performing assigned chores the way Barbara did. Bryant chided her gently, seeing in her youngest daughter the early signs of development of characteristics that had made Hugh Mohan the glamorous husband she had loved so passionately. She had an uneasy feeling about her pretty young daughter's future, but not the slightest premonition of the despair and heartbreak that would be hers and Sheridan's when her daughter's career became almost indistinguishable from one that Hugh Mohan might have followed was he alive.

During the first half of her second term, Louise began the practice of trying to banish boredom by losing herself in daydreams during class hours - drifting off into reveries where life was exciting and romantic, where difficulties mellowed and problems became easy to overcome, no matter what they were.

It was the gene sis of the schizophrenia that would ultimately destroy her. Philip Crosby of Reno , ninety years old when interviewed in , shut his eyes and easily recalled when he was in school with Louise. He described exactly what she wore - a bright blue dress, her black hair in two long braids tied neatly at the ends with a blue ribbon and reaching far down her back. Then she would look around the room for something to do that would liven things up. I sat in front of her in the fourth grade, and one day I suddenly felt something around my neck was choking me.

She had taken her long braids with the ends tied with the blue ribbon and using it like a lasso threw it over my neck and began pulling. So I grabbed the ends, got them from off around my neck, stuck the ends in the inkwell, turned around and rubbed ink all over her face.

Miss Cruikshank sent us to the principal's office where he made us hold out our hands with the palms up and gave it to us with the end of a razor strap; first me, then her - five times. She didn't cry, but when we got out of the office, she said "that sonafabitch". Around the first of December in , Mrs. Bryant informed Sheridan that she was pregnant with his first child, and the following week, Sheridan came home with a handbill announcing a meeting of the Wadsworth lodge of the American Railway Union to be addressed by Eu gene Debs - founder of the union, and that after lodge there would be a public mass meeting.

Every folding chair in the big hall was filled by railroad men, their wives and children when the two men appeared on the waist high platform that ran the full width of the rear wall. Their appearance set off a long ovation with everyone stomping their feet, applauding and yelling, "Hooray, Gene; Hooray, Gene.

Lindsay, the chairman of the Wadsworth lodge of the American Railway Union. Debs was a full six feet tall, with angular features, deep-set eyes and a slightly protruding chin. His clothes were worn and wrinkled as though he had slept in them for several nights.

Louise leaned over and whispered to Barbara: At that time Debs was not yet the fiery speaker he became when he was nominated five times by the socialists as their candidate for President of the United States , collecting nearly a million votes on one occasion while he was a prisoner in the federal penitentiary in Atlanta. But this night he didn't have to be fiery or eloquent. Everyone in the crowded hall listened closely to every word.

Only the children were restless, turning their heads in every direction to see who was there. Barbara also became fidgety after a while, but Louise kept her eyes on Eu gene Debs. She saw in him her father as he must have looked while addressing large crowds, and soon she began daydreaming, even imagining herself on the stage with everyone applauding.

At times she turned from the platform, glancing at Sheridan, who was listening carefully, and then at her mother. Once she saw her mother with her eyes tightly shut and thought that she was asleep, but then she felt her mother's hand squeeze her own tightly.

When Debs got through talking something unusual happened -something Louise would recall for Debs years later when she and John Reed visited him in prison. All the chairs were folded and disappeared, as if by magic, and a long table appeared by the wall loaded with cookies, lemonade and coffee. Everyone collected in groups to talk about Debs' speech, and Debs himself, as he nearly always did at meetings of this sort, began to stop at one group and then another to chat, and once in a while to pat a child on the head.

When he came to the Bryants, he talked to Sheridan and Mrs. Bryant and then turned to Barbara and asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. Barbara was so surprised she was tongue-tied for a moment. Then she pointed to Sheridan and said, "I'm going to work on a train like him.

Debs smiled and said: The railroad company seems to think that women should stay at home and keep house. Louise was bubbling inside. Her mind was racing.

She knew that she would be next and was ready when the time came, the words came tumbling over each other: The men in their group and some others nearby began to laugh when she mentioned the bad things the ladies had to do, but Eu gene Debs didn't. He looked at Louise, and to everybody's surprise, bent down and lifted her from the floor, and kissed her on the forehead. Louise felt her face get hot, but she also felt a pleasant glow.

So many people were looking at her. She had never felt quite so important. As they were all walking home through the falling snow, while Barbara kept asking why he wore such rumpled old clothes that were too big for him, Louise wanted to know what he was talking about.

Bryant worked in her spare time for a white. Louise's feelings of importance grew the next day at school. Philip Crosby wasn't at the meeting, but he heard all about it; nearly everybody at school knew that Mr. Debs had kissed her. This was a new Louise Bryant whom all now envied. She did not have to do or say anything startling to draw attention to herself. At home, the moment they all returned from the meeting, Louise began pressing her mother for information about Mr.

Debs, starting with why did her mother fall asleep while he was talking. Bryant said she hadn't fallen asleep, only closed her eyes because Mr. Debs was talking about the same things her father had talked about the first time she saw him in San Francisco. He was using almost the same words, exploitation, tyranny. Her father, said Mrs. Bryant, wanted people to vote for Mr. Cleveland for president because Mr. Cleveland was a Democrat and would help workers get more money from their bosses.

He also wanted, said her mother, Ireland , where her grandparents come from, to be free of the English. But she must never again talk about killing English soldiers, no matter what she heard about her father. Soldiers are not bad people. They only do what they are ordered to do. Even the Indians who had attacked her father and his fellow-workers while they were building the railroad, Mrs.

Bryant told Louise, were not bad men. They were unhappy because the railroad was being built on land that was once theirs and nobody even bothered to ask them if it would be all right to build the railroad on the land that was theirs. White men were also killing the buffalo and taking only the skins leaving the meat to rot, taking away the Indian's food supply.

It was all interesting and confusing, for Louise was only eight years old. And before she reached her ninth birthday, not even her mother would be able to convince her that strikebreakers and railroad bosses, to whom she soon began to refer to as "them sonafabitches" were not bad people.

In June of , six months after Debs' appearance in Wadsworth , two important events occurred, one affecting the Bryant family, the other everyone in the Western United States. On the twenty first of that month, Mrs. Bryant gave birth to the first of Sheridan's two sons, and five days later the "Debs Rebellion" it was labeled that at once by newspapers began, and before it was three days old it had brought to a standstill all railroad transportation west of Chicago.

It was the great and violent railroad tie-up of , involving Debs' newly created American Railway Union and every community whose existence depended on shipments of supplies the struck roads had been providing.

The greatest impact of the upheaval was on railroad towns like Wadsworth where everything depended on the railroad. In Wadsworth , itself, a food shortage developed almost immediately, and Louise's new brother Floyd, a sickly baby, rejecting his mother's breast, added to the gloom that enveloped the Bryant home, with his almost round-the-clock screams, wails and long, pitiful sobs.

They were sad, dreadful days for eight-year-old Louise, even though the conflict lasted only a short time and all rail transportation everywhere was back to normal by July Worst of all was her loneliness and feeling of rejection by her mother. Bryant was so preoccupied with the baby and so many other problems the strike had created, she had little time to talk to her about what was happening and why.

She heard the old words again, "exploitation," "tyranny," and some new ones, "boycott," "injunctions," and Jimmy Kolchak's furious blasphemous attack on the railroad owners and "scabs" and soldiers, all of whom were "sonafabitches. She hadn't heard Sheridan or anybody else say that.

Eu gene Debs was a member of the railroad firemen's brotherhood at the time the A. He had begun work as a roundhouse laborer in in Terre Haute , Indiana , at the age of fifteen. His pay was fifty cents a day for cleaning the grease from freight locomotives after their regular runs. He had to buy his own scraper to loosen the grease, but the company provided the borax.

His knuckles were always raw and bleeding. A half dozen unsuccessful railroad strikes, called by unions to keep wages from being slashed when profits, for one reason or another, dipped, convinced Debs there is little chance of winning any concessions from railroad owners so long as workers were organized in individual unions according to their crafts.

Being strapped down ensures my balls are taken like they should be. If there's any woman out there who wants to take or destroy my worthless white balls, I'd love to talk and if you want my balls will be made available to be at your mercy.

Taunt you tease you even sucking out you last load of sperm. Then swiftly with a razor slicing your sack seeing your testicles spill out.

Tying off the sack to stop the bleeding then drop you off at the ER. Hope some woman gets to remove yours. Sara F May 17 5: Andy h May 20 7: Any woman inerested then let me know. Andy H May 20 7: Andy H May 30 5: Let me know if you would to make this reality. Let me know if you would like to make this reality.

Are you up to that. Sara Anonymous Jun 05 5: I have no sexdrive no testosterone and i do not wish this on anyone. I am in remission and my wife still loves me althoug i cannot sexualy satisfy her.

She sees me crying about my loss and comforts me. My wife has a vibrator to help her cope and i suspect she is having an affair but as long as she comes home to me glowing with sexual satisfaction its OK with me Remis Jun 11 6: One thing that is a preventative for this cancer are soy products as well as other dietary changes. You could also have an inflatable bladder put into your penis and pump it up into an erect position.

If you are able to find and work with the right people you may find more improvement. Obvious Jun 11 1: Pour ma part, j'exploite les fantasmes de mon homme. Nous nous adorons et nous nous respectons.

Cette situation n'est pas sans m'exciter. C'est pourquoi je l'utilise. J'ai eu l'occasion de lire la philosophie de lise Sutton.

Je la rejoint compl? Ainsi, touijours par surprise je choisis mes moments , je domine mon "male" en "femelle". Cette menace l'excite au point qu'il bande encore plus fort et c'est mon objectif. Il a l'ordre de "toujours bander" dans ces situations et "sans se toucher" car il est en est souvent tent?. Je continuerai mon r? A bientot les filles! Sexesse Sexesse Jun 14 C'est fou ce que ce forum me plait!! Je reprends donc mon r?

Cela marche d'autant mieux si vous l'aimez avant toute chose. N'empeche que pendant ces "s? Il aime et appr? Quand je lui ordonne soudainement le moment que je choisis toujours comme je vous l'ai dit plus haut "Mon ch? Je te veux "? Rien que ces mots le met d? Je vois "avec une satisfaction int? J'ai dit tout de suite "? Je ne supporte pas attendre". Comme nous sommes le soir et qu'apr? Dans le cas pr? Il ne sait jamais par cons?

J'enfile en vitesse mes talons aiguilles pour une tenue plus alti? J'arrive dans la chambre une autre que la notre, utilis? Il s'est en effet mis "? Je le regarde tr? Je le scrute, je le toise. En fait ma fa? Je lui ordonne de mettre les mains derri? Il est tout peneau "g? Bien qu'il bande, je lui fait remarquer que ce n'est pas suffisant et j'en profite pour la lui cingler "l? Je lui dit alors: Je lui prend alors la queue de ma main libre en la maintenant fermement. Mais cela je ne le veux pas car c'est en maintenant subtilement leur?

C'est ainsi que j'ai obtenu de lui, un peu? Je les confonds avec les miens qu'il ignore par contre et je les restitue plus tard en les mettant en application? En le connaissant toujours un peu plus, je le domine toujours un peu plus!!

Je lui fais promettre des taches, des travaux pour l'avenir en lui disant que je saurai "le r? Episodiquement, quand j'estime que le moment est venu, je le rase enti? Quand je dis enti? Je l'humilie une fois de plus en lui disant: Pour cela, debout comme c'est souvent le cas, je lui attache les poignets? Il se trouve malgr? Un petit "va et vient" de sa queue de temps?

Je lui applique la mousse. J'en profite pour lui passer et repasser la main, l'air de rien, aussi bien sous les couilles que lentement sur la queue. Son visage que je ne manque pas d'observer pour mieux suivre mes intentions est "rouge cramoisi".

Quel plaisir intime de voir petit? Je finis souvent par une petite friction? Sa queue est turgescente! Je vois ses yeux fixer mes seins g? Je peux vous dire que sa "r? Je vais trouver les moyens de le "ressaisir".

Ainsi rendu nu et lisse tel un ver de terre, il recevra l'ordre de s'occuper activement de moi en me faisant jouir de mon saoul! A bientot les filles pour d'autres r?

Sexesse Jun 15 5: John Doe Jun 24 It's ok, for you sue and julia? This would eliminate most rapes and sexual abuse against kids. Of course, after a man rapes a woman, they would be castrated, but still, the rape did occur.

Of course, there would probably SOME use for sperm, so maybe 1 out of every men could be kept "normal" so as to harvest the sperm. Jellybean Jul 08 8: Alguna mujer de Venezuela dispuesta a castrarme escr? Lesbians here,do you know these guys are just trolling? You are all sick fucks Jul 16 John Doe Aug 08 Hanging on to his balls! Aug 09 7: Andy H Aug 10 8: If you are, tep forward and prove it. DUDE Aug 21 She does have a lover and they would like to have me castrated.

Nervous about doing it but it is desirable. Jay Aug 23 6: Andy Aug 27 6: To put it in a fair simple fact sheet, mutilation, sex domination, is not a solution of making the world better, it's about destroying the world to start a new.. I believe there should be a new educational reform towards everything, in human beings castration of animals should be prohibited, and controlling of males should be by taming them for what they want..

Dinoraptor Aug 29 2: Clearly aggressive egotistical males should be castrated to make the world a calmer more pleasant place. However, perhaps a male like me who only has a small penis, undersized testicle and is unable to ejaculate more than a little dribble might be permitted to keep his balls, so long as he is obedient. I know my place, I would be honoured to kneel in naked obedience at the feet of a superior women, but please may I keep my little balls?

Sub-Boy Sep 12 You could kick them or slap them. Also I can demonstrate how much I worship women by showing how stiff my little willy is. Please may I keep them? Sub-boy Sep 22 7: I had a acsidet wan i was 4 or 5 years old my grandmal was supost to wuch me they adopt me wan i was born about 1 year later JS Sep 22 Js Sep 23 8: I wuled like to point out a fack't thies girls on this siet are horny and truned on if a girls pulled me down and cut my last nut i will be sad and have more problems but if she can acksulee get me donw fare and squer and remove my last nut i will for give her a corse i wuled feel bad about it but i know she mite acksoulee love me that hawe i can for give her for doing someing like that i she culede do it i wuled deffinitlee fithe back and perteck my self from giting cut but remimber im strat minde and i hope nothing like that happins to me or iny one eals.

Anonymous Sep 23 1: Js Sep 27 6: Would i have the same feelings without my little balls, or would I be a placid non-sexual non-person? Sub Boy Oct 01 3: Think about it the next time you are playing with your small sack.

Sara F Oct 03 4: I would very much like to submit to a women and recognise her dominance. Sacrificing my puny little testicles to her would indeed do that, and the thought of doing just that thrills me. My little penis is stiff as I think about it. However, I am afraid of the consequences of being ball less. I love fantasising about worshiping a woman and the tingle I get in my little erection. Presumably, I would lose sexual desire and cease to be able to have erections. This seems a very big price to pay, and would not be satisfying in the long term.

I know I am unable to satisfy a woman, but I do like playing with my inadequate little penis. I very much hope I can demonstrate my inferiority to the superior sex without being castrated?

Sub Boy Oct 04 This will eventually shrink your sack more while you enjoy your penis being fondled. Sara F Oct 04 5: You say this would make my little sack even smaller. What would become of my little balls? Sub Boy Oct 06 9: Your small penis would be stimulated and I would be happy knowing your sack is being deprived once your penis is stimulated you will forget about a y discomfort.

This happens with any male. Don't worry it will take a long time to disable your small balls but think of the pleasure you will get as we render your balls useless Sara F Oct 06 4: There is nothing quite like being controlled by a woman who well and truly has you by the balls! Are you saying I would eventually lose them though? I am still afraid of that. Sub Boy Oct 09 8: It would then be up to you the more I satisfied you the greater chance of your balls shrinking and being useless.

Do it only once or twice nothing happens other than you getting off. I think though you will want more and more and go all the way. Sara F Oct 09 2: You seem determined to take them from me, as is your right.

As an inferior little boy, I of course respect your authority, I know my place. My desire to worship you means it would be very difficult to resist the pleasure you could give. I am controlled by my little penis, and you control my little penis. May I ask, what would become of me once my little balls are all dried up? Would I be useless to you, or could I still serve you? Would be little penis be forever limp, hanging pathetically between my legs? At 2 inches and skinny it? Sub Boy Oct 12 2: You may enjoy it.

Sara F Oct 12 5: Andy H Oct 14 8: May I ask, what would my dried up little useless balls look like? Employs a vast array of swing jargon that only confuses you further.

Favourite expression "Wait, try this! Thinks he is honouring spirit of the game by never picking up. Not in the spirit of the game: Favourite expression "Put me down for a 10". Considers golf course an extension of his office, home, therapist's couch, etc. Has perfected the balancing-phone-on-the shoulder wedge shot.

I gotta take this". Convinced he's got a shot with the cart girl. Would be crushed to learn she offered the same flirty laugh and bag of nuts to foursome of geeks up ahead. Colour-coordinated outfit, matching logos and oversized tour bag suggest he's played professionally. Topped drive off the first tee suggests otherwise. Can't remember his score without reliving every shot in detail. Four I had that funky lie in the bunker and left it in the bunker" Unable to fathom a round of golf without a steady stream of adult beverages.

Idea of restraint is to hold off drinking The easiest golfer to locate on the course thanks to waft of smoke trailing behind him. Oblivious to playing partners struggling for air - and the ash droppings on his belly. The 15 handicap who is somehow playing 'much better' than he has in years.

Feigns apology when he drops bunker shot within inches of cup, then kicks sand off his shoes like a tour pro. Favourite expression "I guess it's just one of those days" So preoccupied with his own game never looks for anyone else's ball.

When driving a cart, always blows past your ball and heads directly to his. What do YOU think of my swing? Never passes a water hazard without his trusty scoop at the ready.

Last bought a new sleeve of balls in the late 80s. Has unique ability to allow even the most pleasant days to be soured by any bad swing, bounce, or lie. Relies on Ball Retriever Guy to occasionally fetch clubs out of lake. Forces group to wait on every par 5 because he's convinced he can get home in two.

Usually get there in four. Liberally allows himself another whack even when first shot is findable. I gotta try another". The only guy in the group not to notice the foursome behind yelling from the fairway as he lines up his putt for double from every angle imaginable.

Has to walk off every blade of grass before hitting. After contemplating whether a shot is yards or , ends up hitting it A sympathetic figure when he pushes his tee shot deep into the woods. When he announces his ball somehow stayed in bounds - with a clear shot to the green! Treats every holed three footer as if just won the Masters. Has sent multiple playing partners home early thanks to overzealous chest bumping.

A wedding occurred just outside Alice Springs in the Northern Territory. To keep tradition going, everyone got drunk and the bride and groom's families had a storming row and started wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other. The Police were called in to break up the fight. The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings silence with the use of his gavel, shouting, "Silence in the Court!

The court room goes silent and Jackie, the best man, stands up and says "Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened". The Judge agrees and asks Jackie to take the stand. Jackie begins his explanation by telling the court it's traditional at an indigenous wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride. The Judge says "Okay" The Judge instantly responded "God! That must have hurt! One day a florist went to Fred for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replied "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week".

The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week". The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut. When he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied "I cannot accept money from you I'm doing community service this week". The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone sipping a drink. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while? Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the shy guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. She smiles at him and says "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.

You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations". Secondly, you don't need a credit card or have to install any dodgy software - it's all absolutely free! And finally, why do I sound so fucking excited? Because MyFreeCams really is that brilliant. Click here to check it out now!

Want to contribute to Reader Mail? Just click here and do eeeet!! In a convent in Ireland, the year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop. As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader. Is Hell exothermic gives off heat or endothermic absorbs heat?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant. First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct We've all heard the overused " 1 site for whatever" line but believe me when I say MyFreeCams.

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Richie McCaw goes into the All Black changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit down. We know it's important but we've just beaten Argentina and South Africa in consecutive weeks and, let's be honest, it's only the Aussies this week. They're crap and we simply can't be bothered". Richie looks at them and says "Okay guys, I hear what you're saying. The way I've been playing recently, I reckon I can beat these Aussies by myself. Why don't you fellas go down to the pub, have a few jars and maybe catch it on telly.

I really think I can do this by myself! So Richie goes out to play the Wallabies by himself while the rest of the ABs go off for a few pots. After a couple, they begin to wonder how the game is going, so they get the barman to put the telly on. A huge cheer goes up as the screen reads after 10 minutes: New Zealand 7, McCaw, converted try - Australia 0. Dammit, he's actually beating Australia all by himself!

Surely he can't do it, can he? Anyway, a few more beers later, the telly goes off and the game is temporarily forgotten until someone suddenly remembers. They get the telly put back on and look on eagerly. There on the screen is the result: They can't believe it!

Richie v Australia and he single-handedly managed a draw against the Aussie Wallabies! Delighted, they rush back to Suncorp Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, slumped over with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. You got a draw against Australia, all alone, all by yourself. And they only scored a single try, after 79 minutes! I hope you can forgive me. Twenty minutes from full time, I got sent off! A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at Pearson International in Toronto.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she has a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby greatly impressing her.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto "We love to fly and it shows". The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. The woman looks at him sternly and says "What the fuck do you want? Well let's not dweel on it. It's time for dinner so I'm out of here for another week. You probably still have some quetions so please read the following and save yourself the embarrassment of asking them Every Orsm single update since Jesus was a kid conveniently stored in one place for eeasy access.

Want to fight me? Sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up? Show me the twins? Then go for it! Just make sure you email me here! As promised, here goes part two of my recent holiday adventures. It may actually turn into a three-parter because apparently I have a lot to say but let's see how we go.

I'll start by saying that HK is an incredible city and everyone should go there. It's also the world's most vertical city - coming from little old Perth where everything is spread out and low density, it was kind of awesome seeing the endless high-rises everywhere you looked but I suppose how else are you going to house 7 million people in such a small area?

Not sure how I'd handle living there Anyway let's rip through it in point style shall we? Makes you a little bit sick when you see just how many high end cars cruise around - everything from Porsche to Lambo to Ferrari to Maybach to Rolls to Bentley.

Even more disturbing is when you see those cars fully pimped with aftermarket gear. The display of wealth is staggering and obviously most HK'ers can't afford such fancy toys which is okay because public transport is one of the best things about the place. Firstly, the subway is unbelievably efficient. Never waited more than 2 minutes for a train any time of the day or night. Secondly, thousands of double deckers buses scream along city streets Thirdly, there may well be more cabs than people.

Oh and they are cheap but unfortunately not always tourist friendly. We had a few drive off when they couldn't understand English well enough [or is that, we couldn't speak Chinese well enough? The only problem we had was going into some restaurants that didn't necessarily cater to [stupid] westerners.

Obviously they were good because of the lines to get in but quite often you're handed a menu written in Cantonese [I think? Meant to speed up the process so they can turn tables over faster but half the time you end up pointing to what other people have on their tables or if you are really lucky, you'll snag someone who speaks English and is happy to help pick shit that isn't feet or offal. Also a lot of the time they'll ask you to table share, something that never happens at home. If you like McDonald's then all good.

They are fucking everywhere Same deal with Starbucks. A huge highlight however is the street food which is cheap and tastes amazing. Most memorable though was a buffet we hit one night. The food was great but truly hilarious watching this small Chinese woman eat her body weight. She crammed it down her gob non-stop for over an hour, barely stopping to breathe and using a little helper to keep plates piled high so she wouldn't have to stop or move.

There's definitely some who are rude and others who clearly couldn't be bothered with whities but you never feel unsafe or threatened. One of the oddest things I noticed was glasses.

So-so-so many Chinese walk around with glasses that have no lenses. Also odd was for how many sunglass shops there are I don't think I saw a single person wearing them. We'd often see old people rifling through bins [of which there aren't enough] collecting recyclables. Figured out later they take it to these small buildings located around the place for collection and assumingly a bit of cash.

People in general can be pretty fucking disgusting though. Was shocked [several times] to see the oldest granny hock up phlegm and spit it out. Also, cunts don't bother covering mouths when coughing or sneezing. Very likely explains why I came home with a chest infection. Another thing I never got used to was anything toilet related - pray that when you need to shit it's near your hotel otherwise it will likely be into a squat and they are ALL the vile looking contraptions.

Luckily its easier if you have kids and they need to pee Do not give one single fuck about the hundreds of people walking by. One night we jumped on the subway trying to get to Wan Chai and ended up miles from where we wanted.

Because on the same line is another stop called Chai Wan. I eventually got my black belt in haggling and the numerous markets are the best place to practice. They quote a price, you counter offer a lot less, they look sad and ask for more, you say "I don't really need it so I don't care" then start to walk off and hey presto you get the price you wanted [usually].

Walking through these places you are occasionally whispered to by dodgy non- Chinese people asking "You want copy bag? We were quickly ushered up the street, down a back alley, handed over to another guy, into a building, up a tiny elevator and into a fortified apartment.

Here you're shown catalogues of the copies and they have crap loads. When you see something you like a boy runs off to get it and comes back minutes later. The whole thing is very clandestine although personal safety concerns quickly subside when you realise how it works. Copies are illegal and these guys risk huge fines, jail time and of course everything will be confiscated. Most interesting was how they get stuff into HK All the bags and watches and whatever are then distributed to their network around the city and sold to people like us.

Okay time to start winding this blog bit up. I fucking loved everything about HK. The best shit is found in the darkest corners, seediest backstreets or down the most ominous looking escalators. It's impossible to get bored and there's its busy everywhere all the time but after close to 2 weeks there I was glad to be coming home. So now that you're all clear on that let us get on with an unforgettable update.

As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but I couldn't make it out". By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view".

It said 'Don't stand up in the car'. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this household instead of two". Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing with happiness and kissing his wife when she said "I'm glad that you feel this way about it!

Tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us". The doctor gave her a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong and then told her "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you".

My husband refuses to sleep alone". Dad looks at his other son and said "What about you? Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of , outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad example it sets for the rest of the world" Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be.

Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting. Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of Veggie-Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of , adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie , it wasn't anything like real turkey.

And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its lustre. Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold.

Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of , mandating all thermostats which were monitored and controlled by the electric company be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter. Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the family. Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of live-saving medical treatment.

He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. I'm sorry for your loss". Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of outlawed the use of the combustion engines for everyone but government officials.

The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there. Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his haemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added 'inconvenience' was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists".

Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via the Anti-Profiling Act of That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny" even when probable cause was involved.

Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots etc had become almost routine. The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. We should learn from their example" she added.

Winston's thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner.

Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50, texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it. His year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner" but Jason had developed a kind of Nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility.

It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of , which outlawed smoking anywhere within feet of another human being. The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth".

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement. At least he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realised his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realised their full potential. Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realised how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around , when all the real nonsense began. A young bloke from outback Australia goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he has foolishly squandered all of his money.

They actually have a program here in that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue, how to talk". About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read". How do we get Ol' Blue in that program? I'll get him in the class". The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something! Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the newspaper.

Then he suddenly turned to me and asked "So, is dad still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub? A husband was watching TV while his wife was out cutting the grass during a hot summer day. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife "What's for supper? You sit in the air conditioning all day while I'm out here working! I can't believe you have the nerve to ask me about supper right now! Tell you what - imagine I'm out of town then go inside and figure out dinner for yourself.

The husband went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak with potatoes, garlic bread and a tall glass of cold beer. The wife finally finished the lawn and walked in about the time he was finishing up. So where is mine? I thought you were out of town". An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.

Following procedure, he asks the biker his name. The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. The biker replies "It's a long story, so bear with me. I was born Fred Johnson.

I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realised that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, med school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school". Shit would just have gotten out of hand otherwise so what you guys are about to feast your eyes upon is hours upon hours of hard work sorting through and compiling something worthy of the attention usually reserved for big tits If your shit is good enough it'll be featured on the main page and then archived for all eternity.

On the Orsm hit list are pics of your terrible ex-girlfriend, tasty current girlfriend, jokes, funny videos and pretty much anything else you can staple to an email and send my way. All you must do is click here to make it happen. Fellow Phuket traveller Hi mate, Saw your blog post and thought I'd share a few thoughts since I also just returned from Phuket.

I was there with a group of five guys all in their twenties and unlike you, as a single bloke I was more able to take advantage of some of the local, ahem, attractions Porn job I want porn job.

Grossing people out with shitting pics In the story, grandma says, "Man had not invented: Even if we went with the availability of residential air conditioning, she would be at least 85 years old since those became available in the s. Of course, we could go back to ancient Rome where they would circulate water from aqueducts through the walls of buildings to cool the inside of the building, but that would make her considerably and unreasonably older.

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