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FARGO — I've come to terms with many unfamiliar phrases — first with gender neutral-pronouns, then with gendered phrases, through conversations with transgender women. This month, I spoke with two North Dakotan couples who shared their own "coming to terms" story. Although each relationship is different, these two couples have several things in common. Both met each other in high school while one partner was presenting as male; both are married and celebrate double-digit anniversaries this year; and both stayed together while one partner transitioned from male to female.
These two transgender women and their spouses talked about their unique love stories and how a spouse's gender dysphoria — a condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite of one's biological sex — redefined the terms of their relationship, but not the nature of their love.
Vyla presented as a male in high school and remembers accidently ditching the girl she asked to prom to hang out with Rachael before they officially started dating. Shortly after high school, Vyla traveled to Minot, N. Looking back now, year-old Vyla said the proposal was anything but romantic.
Rachael, now 34, remembers saying yes, but she couldn't imagine the challenges their relationship would face. Vyla said she tried to be as open as she could be about her gender expression and struggles to accept her gender identity from the beginning.
She even discussed it with Rachael within the first couple months of dating. Vyla said during the early s, she didn't hear or see applicable verbiage in her community or the media.
Today, the Media Reference Guide on glaad. Drag queens are men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment. Throughout her early adult life, she tried to bury her gender dysphoria by busying herself with traditional male roles. She even considered joining the military. When Vyla and Rachael began to consider Vyla's transition, Rachael initially didn't know how to respond. For years, Vyla identified as nonbinary — meaning her gender identity or expression was outside the categories of man or woman.
Rachael would ask, "Did you lie to me? But because Vyla changed slowly over time and took baby steps with Rachael, she said they were able to understand each other's fears and feelings. They also decided to be open from the beginning with their two children and extended family. It took time, but eventually I did realize that she is the same person no matter what gender she is.
Rachael said she can't see herself with any other person, but admitted the circumstances could have been different. This month, Rachael and Vyla celebrated their relationship and renewed their vows with family and friends in Moorhead.
Andrea and Omni first met when they worked together at a fast-food restaurant in Wahpeton, N. They both said they had a quick but traditional courtship. But after we were married and our daughter was born, it kept getting worse and worse. Andrea and Omni said this struggle almost destroyed their relationship. They considered divorce, and Andrea left to work in Florida for a couple years. I wish I was a girl so I could have things easy too.
In , Andrea came back to North Dakota and was able to come to terms that she may need to consider transitioning or living as a transgender woman. Both needed time to understand how Andrea's gender identity could affect their relationship. Due to unwanted attention from neighbors after Andrea started presenting as a woman in the couple's apartment, they decided to take their daughter and move to Fargo to seek new opportunities.
Andrea and Omni said despite desiring help, the specialist required certain steps before Andrea could get hormone therapy. This happened to me too, so I would come out to my family and then take it back later. Andrea credits Omni's support for her ability to find a new therapist and endocrinologist who prescribed hormones.
Omni and Andrea said they were both happy after coming to terms with Andrea's transition, but it wasn't — and still isn't — easy. At the time, gay marriage wasn't legal in every state, but they were married in Minnesota, a state that was an early adopter of marriage equality, so they felt comfortable continuing Andrea's transition.
Omni said communication is key and the fact that Andrea was able to transition slowly helped them to repair and maintain their relationship. This is the final article in Forum News Service's three-part series about issues affecting transgender people. How pronouns are becoming gender inclusive" was published April 6, and "Everyday transgender: The challenges you don't see" was published April April Knutson is lifestyle-focused journalist producing stories for the Forum News Service about people, health, community issues, and services.
She earned her degree in both English Literature and Mass Communications. Skip to main content. By April Knutson on May 25, at 7: Vyla Grindberg, left, transitioned nine months ago. This month, she and her wife Rachael decided to renew their vows. April Knutson April Knutson is lifestyle-focused journalist producing stories for the Forum News Service about people, health, community issues, and services.
Swanson and West have prior criminal charges in Bowman County, the most recent stemming from events this summer. Swanson was arrested in June for hitting an acquaintance in the face with a steel rebar and threatening to kill the the victim during the altercation. According to court documents, he stated he at that time he was a farmer on his family farm, Swanson Farms. In July, West had allegedly assaulted relatives in Bowman and caused bodily injuries to their arms and face. Court records state family members believed West was a "danger to herself and others stemming from her drug induced outbursts.
During the visit, police found a. The serial number of the rifle had also been ground off. The firearm had been reported stolen and the owner of the gun correctly identified it as having been stolen from his vehicle in June. Skip to main content.
By Kalsey Stults on Aug 25, at 5: Locate newspaper obituaries quickly with these links! Ashley Tribune Area Deaths. Burke County Tribune Obituaries. Devil's Lake Journal Obituaries. Grand Forks Herald Obituaries. Ransom County Gazette obituaries coming soon. Minot Daily News Obituaries.
Renville County Farmer Obituaries. Tioga Tribune Area Deaths. Valley City Times Record Obits. Wahpeton Daily News Obituaries. Washburn - The Leader News. West Fargo Pioneer Obituaries. List of North Dakota Newspapers. Old North Dakota Newspapers. The Bismarck Daily Tribune. The Bismarck Tribune Tri Weekly. The Bismarck Weekly Tribune. Obituaries can provide a wealth of information for the genealogy researcher.
Finding them can present a challenge in some cases. Remember many times in the old newspaper, obituaries were printed once a month or once a week. So be sure to search for many issues before and after your ancestors date of death.
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