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Some people yearn to be married or love the commitment of a true relationship. Manogamy is a curse word to these people and offensive to the ears. But what about the person in between these two. Well, the answer is … A Friend With Benefits. Cut buddies are people used for sex. You sleep with them, they leave, thats it. The friend with benefits is a thing of beauty. They are a friend. Someone you care about, talk to, and possibly have a history with.
You can depend on them if your in trouble and they can call on you. They probably have loaned you money or helped you out with some trouble you had. There is a good chance you can call them to get their opinion on something, or just to see how their day was. The key to the term is friend. They server a purpose. Their like a car.
You use it for a purpose. This is the same as a cut buddy, not something to be loved or cared about, but something to maintain as long as it does the job. A friend with benefits is like a dog. You honestly love your dog. Its not the same love as a child or significant other, but its love. If your dog is hurt, you take care of it, and try and make its recovery as painless as possible.
Its not just a thing … you love it. Friends With Benefits and Cut read: Please … use these terms correctly … know what your getting into and what to expect.
I can do the friends with benefits thing but…damn that after a while I want a relationship! I love to me in one and I'm about ready for my husband to find me already but I'm patient! SBM this is written from a totally male perspective.
So lets not go grouping us all together. Why is it that the FwB isn't satisfying enough. I know its common for someone to wan more from the situation … but why? Women can have FwB. What makes this such a male perspective? If your going to make these claims … please expound on your accusation. Oh quit the dramtics SBM!!!! Men and women think differently and approach sex, love, and intimacy from a different perspective.
Maybe its the "new generation" that wishes to make us all the same operating off of one brain. Me … dramatic … why, I have no idea what your talking about.
But I will say I'm going to have to think about this relationship if you keep making these unfounded accusations without any proof. I'm no lawyer, but I've dabbled enough to require evidence.
I do agree that its not the same line of thinking or emotional attachment for men and women, but I'll be damned if a SBW can't successfully have a FwB without her eventually stalking him. I know a few women who love having FWBs. It's a new millennium. Women are not confined to traditional roles; therefore, they can do the Samantha from Sex in the City thing if they so choose. They all lived on HBO not in real life. And yes it is a new millennium.
But last I checked the "age of aquarius" which inspired many a child born out of "wedlock" and in lots of "free love" was equally a "progressive" idea that has contributed to the break down in communication and the level of relationships we in the new millennium are "enjoying".
FwB is a symptomatic of the breakdown. But we lie and call it a new type of sexual revolution and female empowerment and male entitlement. Personally I like to only have 1 or 2 FwBs at the most. More than that and it gets unwieldy … too much management. There goes that temper again. Anti is right, its a new age and new era, while I think women will always want a BF over a FwB, I think its almost insulting to say that a woman is incapable of having a successful FwB situation.
I guess I just give women a lot more credit than the average person. The word "champion of XXX rights" is thrown around loosely nowadays … but …. I'm gonna take "SBM vs. Comeback" cause thats an easy category. I always win …. Perfectly calm enjoying my redeye grande yukon with a tad bit of steamed breve deg. I'm quite capable of changing my name legally to Chaka Rufus Khan—but would be in my best interest?
Would it make sense? You catch a pressed man on the wrong day with the right booty and he may be the stalker. My point is is that if it rarely works for a woman and half the time isn't very effective for men—then why continue to tell the same lie?
Though you can't make any claims on the success of fWb, then certainly you dislose some of the emotional and psychological risks and for ANTI —financial as well. I mean with all the "FWB-ization" going on are you still able to be discerning? Me … desensitized … naw. I don't believe in "The One".
I do think you have FwB mode, and "forevership" mode. When my goals and aspirations change, you go through a little paradigm shift and flip the switch to go on the proper hunt. And the irony and from my own observation with cousins, friends of friends, boyfriend's friends etc …most men don't want women who have "mastered the art" of FwB. Their purpose and role is limited by the vary defintion. Your mind is not even configured like that. The best example of this are those pictures that have dual imagees within.
You see what you want to see based on perspective. You just don't go around and say today I'm going to see the butterfly or Today I am going to see the witch for those dual images. Ok I want to be a statistic for a minute, as far as I know FwB's for women don't work out eventually someone gets feelings caught up and 9 times outta 10 is the woman, because you have managed to give her all the perks of being a girlfriend except the lable we dont flip switches its already in my mind that my FwB will become my man U find a girl thats tellin u otherwise and call me.
I have even had a guy once in life actually get mad for treating him like a cut buddy, he was acting like i was The FWB then i down graded him cuz i knew it wouldnt progress to him becoming boyfriend. If in a perfect world we could get along being FWB's I would do it but it just dont seem to work out for the good. You can wake up and simply say "I am only going to look for a forevership" and move forward with the plan.
It may take a month or two to get out of the FwB mindset, but you'll start to realize whats going to get you the girl of your dreams and what to look for outside of just sex. And who is talking about women who have "mastered the art of FwB".
Once you take the latter two out, it spells disaster. Casual Sex…is not the business. It carries and comes with so many problems and issues. Let's run with the stats you posted. Less time intensive and definitely less costly. Don't take my word for it — ask Paul. SBM wake the "cut" up!!!!! The emotional risk is way too great to undertake. To me the only pluses I can think of is "self soothing". Having a "cut" buddy only feels good for 5 minutes, 20 minutes tops.
And like Mikki and Belle alluded too, you don't get birthdays, Christmas or any other holiday. In fact your status states you don't even have a right to expect it- much less a regular phone call. Cut buddy requires that you lay in the cut.
You only serve ONE need. But you go for it because its all you think the "market" can bear. There some self esteem issues in all this too. But thats another blog for another day. What a label anyway? Whats wrong with just having all the benefits?
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